The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [4]
But if you are not near an active support group or just want more guidance at home, this book was written just for you. I encourage you to think of it as your own portable support group, filled with the voices of many parents at all stages of the EC journey! And, of course, I hope that my own story will serve as inspiration to you as well.
MY JOURNEY TO EC
Chances are you’re reading this book because you’ve heard the media buzz about all these parents taking their babies to the potty. Maybe you think it’s far-fetched but are intrigued and wondering if this is something you can really do.
I know how it feels. I was also one of those intrigued but doubtful parents when I first learned about EC while expecting my first son, Benjamin. Like most people who use diapers, my primary concern was to get the most absorbent diapers I could find—diapers that could withstand several hours without leaking. I’d heard about diaper changes, and I dreaded them. When I heard that there were parents out there who practiced something called “elimination communication,” I was, frankly, shocked. The very notion that a tiny baby could use the potty seemed ludicrous and completely odd to me, even though I myself had actually watched three-month-old infants being pottied when I was studying abroad! That is how ingrained the idea that toilet learning is reserved for two-to three-year-olds is in our society. I ignored the newborn spray, tried to get through those diaper changes, and stocked my bulging diaper bag with tons of diapers and wipes whenever I was on the go.
Yet over time I found that I was aware of my baby’s elimination patterns. I realized that as he grew older, he often went hours in the afternoon with a dry diaper. I observed that he would wet more frequently in the mornings, and that he was very obvious about when he was having a bowel movement. Even so, it really didn’t occur to me to put him on the potty at those times even though I knew about EC. I’m not sure why not, except that maybe in my mind, I saw it as something that would be totally time-consuming and impractical, and I knew absolutely no one who was doing it. In the end, it was my child himself who led me to EC.
When Benjamin was just over a year old, my mother (who grew up in Korea) bought him a potty. My first reaction was complete indignation! I thought I, a hip, modern parent, knew better than she, and that “better” now meant waiting until he was two or three, not starting with a preverbal thirteen-month-old! I even thought that early pottying could be harmful somehow. But before returning the potty to my mom, I decided to sit little Benjamin on it just for fun, because it seemed so cute, and he was certainly fascinated. Well, he peed in the potty right away!
I was astounded! And even more astounded when he repeated this every time I sat him on it throughout that day and the next. I began to realize that he had been waiting for me to understand that he wanted to go to the bathroom outside of a diaper. He had been watching all of us using toilets and was eager to join in. I finally tapped into all the EC resources I’d taken note of, adapted those methods for my “late-start” EC’ing baby, found some support online, and within a week or two, he was completely out of diapers.
Now, Benjamin’s story is a bit unusual. It’s rare for a child to retain that bodily awareness for so long, and I often hesitate to share this story because of how young Benjamin was when he “graduated” (became completely toilet-independent with no “misses”—EC-speak for accidents). While getting out of diapers earlier than the U.S. average is something that happens with a lot of EC’ed children, it’s not the main point of EC at all, and I wouldn’t want parents to embark on this journey with that primary goal. You see, this method is not about getting your baby potty trained sooner than anyone else’s child. It’s about the process of communication,