• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

—KATHERINE, MOM TO JEFFERSON, 4, AND JASON, 14 MONTHS

Even older, unrelated children can be intuitive about EC because they may not have a preconceived, culturally ingrained notion that babies can’t or aren’t able to use a toilet.

A nine-year-old boy whom we had just met learned what we were doing with EC. A few minutes later, he announced that Dorian had to pee, and he was right.

—DIANA, MOM TO DORIAN, 7 MONTHS

* * *

Common Question: Isn’t It Messy?

Q. I am eager to try EC, but my husband and I are both wondering if we’re going to have messes all over the house and on our clothing.

A. EC’ing isn’t necessarily messier than full-time diapering. I lived in a home that had a lot of carpet when my boys were infants. For us, it made sense to keep true diaper-free time reserved for places where we either had hardwood floor or waterproof padding on the ground. The rest of the time, I kept the baby’s bottom covered, unless he had just gone to the bathroom. At home I often let him wear just a cloth diaper or training pant, a shirt on top, and leggings on the bottom, so that he could quickly get onto a potty if need be. Since he and I were in communication about his bathroom needs and I used a diaper whenever I felt it was helpful, we rarely had messes, but if they happened, I didn’t regard it as a big deal.

Just remember, you can always use a diaper as backup if it helps you feel more relaxed.

* * *

Parents Speak About Misses and Messes:

I use disposable diapers. It’s hard enough being a full-time mother and a full-time career woman at the same time without having to deal with accidents too often, so I use diapers. But if he has an accident, it happens; he’s only a few months old; I’m not going to freak out over that. This way is easier.

—SABA, MOM TO KENAN, 8 MONTHS OLD

EC is not all that different from diapering a baby in terms of messes. When my daughter was in diapers, lots of times I had to change all her clothes if we had blowouts because it was all over her. EC is less messy because most of the time the mess gets into the toilet. In general, with EC, I’m usually not cleaning up a mess or having to wipe one off her.

—ERIN, MOM TO GRACE, 4, AND EVE, 7 MONTHS

With EC, you’ll sometimes need to clean messes. Without EC, you’ll be cleaning messes all the time.

—KATHERINE, MOM TO JEFFERSON, 4, AND JASON, 14 MONTHS

AVOIDING STRESS

Inevitably, you may be wondering if EC is stressful. And no wonder. For those unfamiliar with it, infant pottying calls to mind images of harried, stressed-out, neurotic parents hovering over their babies to whisk them off to a toilet at the smallest sign that they need to go.

By now, I hope it’s become obvious to you that the actual practice of EC is far different from that image! To be sure, as with any other aspect of parenting an infant, things can feel intense at times. But by providing you with strategies and insights from other parents who have done this, I hope that you will feel that you have lots of resources to draw upon.

It can be exhilarating to catch so many of your baby’s signs and to help him use the toilet. It may happen that some parents get so caught up in the fun of this mutual communication that they feel disappointed and discouraged when they go through a spell that is less successful (as can happen when baby is teething, sick, or going through a developmental change, like learning to crawl or walk). Parents may also put pressure on themselves to catch pees even in situations where it might make more sense to just use a diaper (long car trips, for example).

Of course, many parents weather this just fine, and tell themselves that tomorrow is another day. They remind themselves that EC is about the journey—the rewarding journey of communication with your child—and not about the result (i.e., pee or poop in the potty every time). Perhaps they have the advantage of having lots of supportive people around them and rarely feel moments of self-doubt. They find the