The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [56]
—CHARNDRA, MOM TO MAVEN, 11 MONTHS
We never had potty pauses with Samuel, although we did have misses. With Hannah, it’s similar. There were a few days when the color of her poop changed, probably from being sick. I missed about a poop a day those few days, which was a little frustrating, but I was glad to be so aware of changes occurring in my child. What a nice insight!
—MELINDA, MOM TO SAMUEL, 3, AND HANNAH, 10 MONTHS
Each developmental milestone generally meant misses and setbacks. I really had to be conscious about taking the pressure off. If we had many misses in a day and I was frustrated or down to my last pair of pants, well, it was time for the diaper for a few hours, a day, or a few days. This never lasted long, and it usually just took some slowing down on my part to reconnect with my son again.
—EMILY, MOM TO ALEXANDER, 27 MONTHS
Liam has just started walking! He’s also teething. So even though he often gets too busy to want to signal or stop to use the potty, he still does pee sometimes when offered or else he will sometimes signal me after the fact so I can change him. He’ll use the potty at night, after waking, and sometimes before or after a car ride. He also prefers to use the potty outside.
—ILANA, MOM TO LIAM, 11 MONTHS
If we had misses, I tried to relax a bit and see what was distracting me. Usually misses meant that I was busy or preoccupied. We had a long time, starting at ten months, when maybe twenty-five percent of pees made it into the actual potty. Simon never out-and-out refused to go potty, although I was very creative with peeing locations and maybe that helped.
—RACHEL, MOM TO ISAIAH, 6, AND SIMON, 3
If I was home but preoccupied and missed a lot, I just put him in diapers for a while and concentrated on the few consistent pees of the day (after waking up, before bed).
—JULIE, MOM TO BEN, 14 MONTHS
We experienced a potty pause at around eight months, when Orlando had just started crawling. It felt like I was really out of touch with his elimination. I was missing a lot and felt like EC “wasn’t working.” I knew my feelings of failure were not helping, so I decided to just let go and observe him. I observed when he peed, said “Oh, you peed,” and changed him. I made no effort to catch pees at all. Somehow it helped us get back in touch and to catch more; it helped me feel better and calmer.
—STACY, MOM TO ORLANDO, 30 MONTHS
SIGNALS
At this age, your baby may be increasing the many ways she can show you that she needs to go to the bathroom. It’s important to keep in mind that these signals might change often. Moreover, signals that your baby may have used throughout infancy until now may disappear. She may use other signals instead, or she may use nothing for a while. There may be periods throughout your child’s infancy when you seem to notice very few overt signals about impending elimination. Just keep in mind that all this is normal.
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Is It a Potty Pause or Something Else?
If your child suddenly has a string of misses after months of consistently using the toilet, it’s natural to assume he is experiencing a potty pause. However, a little sleuthing might reveal another underlying cause.
One mom I know, Thembi, was puzzled when little Nina suddenly started having misses. As an infant, she wore underwear, signed “potty,” and could go on hours-long shopping trips with no misses. Suddenly she started having a few misses here or there while at home (which Thembi took in stride), and then a few days later Thembi found she was dealing with a “never-ending trickle of pee.” Nina was dribbling small quantities of pee constantly; there were drips (not puddles) on the floor, and she started peeing at night more than twice as much as just a few weeks before. After talking it over with other EC’ing parents and realizing that this was more than just potty-pause behavior, Thembi took Nina to the doctor and found