The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [78]
With an older child, learning to poop in the toilet rather than in the diaper he’s been accustomed to can sometimes be a difficult experience. If he is actually withholding stool in order to put off pooping in the potty or toilet, this can lead to a painful cycle of constipation, pain, more withholding, and a negative association with the toilet. Address the constipation first by making appropriate changes to his diet. Be very understanding of his reluctance to change the pattern he is used to, and respect his pace so that he can remain comfortable. It can be helpful at first to encourage him to poop in the bathroom—near the potty or toilet—even if he is actually pooping in his diaper, or to let him poop on the toilet while wearing a diaper. Keep talking to him about elimination and invite him to give the potty a try when he feels ready.
Make bathroom time fun, and let your child enjoy the bonding experience of spending time with you as she experiments with the toilet. Let her know you are on her side. Above all, stay relaxed.
An older child will often enjoy picking out her own potties, picking out her own underwear, and so forth, so be sure to involve her in the process.
We actually tried EC when our son Charlie was about nine months old, but never stuck with it long enough for him to regain any bodily awareness. He’d sit on the potty but not go, so we stopped. When he was three, and starting to want to use the potty himself, he’d sit on one but again, no awareness, so no results. So we started trying to dress him in cotton briefs every morning after breakfast. Each day when he’d wet himself, we’d try to acknowledge it as he was peeing. Once he made the connection with the feeling of releasing pee with peeing, he was quickly able to gain body control and began using the potty regularly for pees.
—LARRY, DAD TO CHARLIE, 3
We sometimes hear from people with older children who want to attend a DiaperFreeBaby meeting. I make sure the parent understands that in general, EC begins with a much younger baby, and the focus of the group and experience of most members will reflect that, but I then point out that a lot of the general suggestions can be applied at older ages as well, such as those involving communication, give and take, and creativity. Then I let the parent decide. I think we find that a lot of parents gain insight for their situations from the group no matter how old their children are.
—AMANDA, MOM TO MARGARET, 3
EC’ING TWO AT ONCE
It’s not at all uncommon for us to meet families who are practicing EC with a younger baby while simultaneously trying to train an older sibling. There are also many cases of families who are finishing up EC with a toddler in addition to caring for a newborn EC’ed baby. If this is your situation, know that you’re in good company. It may initially seem as if it would be totally overwhelming to do this, many families actually find that working with the two children at the same time has benefits for both children. The older siblings often get a jump start when they realize their baby brother or sister is also using a potty, and they can be very involved in helping out with EC tasks—bringing a potty, cueing, etc. This also gives you an opportunity to talk about pottying, and the more you talk about pottying and elimination, the better. Finally, your younger baby, as he grows, will increasingly enjoy the chance to sit on the potty alongside his older sibling.
Parents Speak About Strategies When Two Children Are Toilet Learning:
I learned to offer the potty to the toddler before my newborn or else my toddler would pee while waiting for the baby to potty. I even started carrying both a little potty and a potty bowl when out for long periods of time so the children could potty at