The Diary of a Young Girl_ The Definitive Edition - Anne Frank [12]
The building on our right is a branch of the Keg Company, a firm from Zaandam, and on the left is a furniture workshop. Though the people who work there are not on the premises after hours, any sound we make might travel through the walls. We’ve forbidden Margot to cough at night, even though she has a bad cold, and are giving her large doses of codeine.
I’m looking forward to the arrival of the van Daans, which is set for Tuesday. It will be much more fun and also not as quiet. You see, it’s the silence that makes me so nervous during the evenings and nights, and I’d give anything to have one of our helpers sleep here.
It’s really not that bad here, since we can do our own cooking and can listen to the radio in Daddy’s office. Mr. Kleiman and Miep, and Bep Voskuijl too, have helped us so much. We’ve already canned loads of rhubarb, strawberries and cherries, so for the time being I doubt we’ll be bored. We also have a supply of reading material, and we’re going to buy lots of games. Of course, we can’t ever look out the window or go outside. And we have to be quiet so the people downstairs can’t hear us.
Yesterday we had our hands full. We had to pit two crates of cherries for Mr. Kugler to can. We’re going to use the empty crates to make bookshelves.
Someone’s calling me.
Yours, Anne
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE ON SEPTEMBER 28, 1942:
Not being able to go outside upsets me more than I can say, and I’m terrified our hiding place will be discovered and that we’ll be shot. That, of course, is a fairly dismal prospect.
SUNDAY, JULY 12, 1942
They were all so nice to me a month ago because of my birthday, and yet every day I feel myself drifting further away from Mother and Margot. I worked hard today and they praised me, only to start picking on me again five minutes later.
You can easily see the difference between the way they deal with Margot and the way they deal with me. For example, Margot broke the vacuum cleaner, and because of that we’ve been without light for the rest of the day. Mother said, “Well, Margot, it’s easy to see you’re not used to working; otherwise, you’d have known better than to yank the plug out by the cord.” Margot made some reply, and that was the end of the story.
But this afternoon, when I wanted to rewrite something on Mother’s shopping list because her handwriting is so hard to read, she wouldn’t let me. She bawled me out again, and the whole family wound up getting involved.
I don’t fit in with them, and I’ve felt that clearly in the last few weeks. They’re so sentimental together, but I’d rather be sentimental on my own. They’re always saying how nice it is with the four of us, and that we get along so well, without giving a moment’s thought to the fact that I don’t feel that way.
Daddy’s the only one who understands me, now and again, though he usually sides with Mother and Margot. Another thing I can’t stand is having them talk about me in front of outsiders, telling them how I cried or how sensibly I’m behaving. It’s horrible. And sometimes they talk about Moortje and I can’t take that at all. Moortje is my weak spot. I miss her every minute of the day, and no one knows how often I think of her; whenever I do, my eyes fill with tears. Moortje is so sweet, and I love her so much that I keep dreaming she’ll come back to us.
I have plenty of dreams, but the reality is that we’ll have to stay here until the war is over. We can’t ever go outside, and the only visitors we can have are Miep, her husband Jan, Bep Voskuijl, Mr. Voskuijl,