The Dog Behavior Answer Book - Arden Moore [72]
Bowser Hates Boyfriend
Q Can dogs be jealous of people? Rusty, my 40-pound mixed breed, loves other dogs and is even kind to cats. He is about five years old, and I got him when he was just a pup from a local animal shelter. He is well trained and greets everyone at my house in a friendly manner — except for my boyfriend. When my boyfriend and I are on the sofa, Rusty tries to sit between us. Rusty sleeps at the foot of my bed, but growls a little when my boyfriend spends the night. He hasn’t bitten or attacked, but sometimes I catch him staring at my boyfriend. It makes my boyfriend a bit nervous. He hasn’t been around dogs much. I really like this guy and we’re talking about getting married. What can I do to get Rusty to be friendlier?
A Dogs do not get jealous in the human sense, but they can become protective of the members of their pack and will compete for attention from and proximity to their leaders. In this case, that’s you. They are also very hierarchical, and from Rusty’s perspective, the order of the pack is you, him, and then your boyfriend, the most recent addition. Rusty can undoubtedly detect your boyfriend’s nervousness, which fuels his in-charge behavior even more and explains why he pushes between you on the sofa and growls at your boyfriend at bedtime. Just like a toddler, Rusty has discovered that his canine antics focus your attention on him. Even if you reprimand him, negative attention is better than none in his mind.
Dogs can become overly attached to a single person, so it’s good that Rusty is friendly toward others and heeds your obedience commands. Now you need to teach him to extend that pleasant behavior to your boyfriend. Rusty must also learn that while he has a new place in the hierarchy, he can still feel secure in his pack. To succeed, your boyfriend must cooperate with you to elevate his status to Number Two. When he visits, have him feed Rusty, first telling the dog to sit. When the three of you are entering or exiting the house, make sure that your boyfriend goes through the door before Rusty does. When you are on the sofa, have your boyfriend lead Rusty over to his dog bed and offer him a chew toy to keep busy. If you don’t mind sharing the sofa with Rusty, make him settle down on his own end, not between you.
Hand the leash over to your boyfriend when you take Rusty for a walk. Ask him to tell Rusty to perform various behaviors on the walk, with the cues spoken in a calm, clear tone. Give your boyfriend a pocketful of treats to reward compliance. Eventually you can have him take Rusty out on his own, perhaps in an unfamiliar area where Rusty has to rely on your boyfriend for guidance and security. If your boyfriend is the real deal, he should be happy to engage in some play time with Rusty, such as tossing a ball or even playing a fun game of hide-and-seek in your house.
At bedtime, do not ban Rusty from your room. That has been his den since puppy days. However, he does need his own bed. You and your boyfriend need to make this doggy bed appear to be higher in real estate value than your bed. Do this by directing Rusty to a comfortable dog bed or a crate. Put treats or a special chew toy on the bed or in the crate. Tell Rusty to lie down and stay. Reward him with a treat. If he heads for your bed, toss a treat on his own bed. Praise him when he stays on his bed or inside his crate. The goal is to make Rusty view his bed or his crate as his personal bedroom. (You might