The Doll - Bolesaw Prus [362]
Suddenly he felt a hasty and violent pull which dragged him off the track…The train thundered past a few inches from his head, scattering him with steam and hot ashes. For a moment, he lost consciousness and when he came to he found a man sitting on his chest and holding him by the hands.
‘What in heaven’s name are you doing, sir?’ said the man. ‘Whoever heard of such a thing? After all, God…’
He did not finish, Wokulski thrust him off, seized him by the collar and with a single movement hurled him to the ground. ‘What do you want of me, wretch?’ he cried.
‘Sir…Respected sir…I’m Wysocki…’
‘Wysocki? Wysocki?’ Wokulski repeated. ‘You’re lying. Wysocki is in Warsaw.’
‘But I’m his brother, the railroad man. It was you, sir, who found me my job last year, after Easter. How could I stand by and watch such a thing happen? Besides, sir, people aren’t allowed to throw themselves under the train.’
Wokulski reflected and let him go. ‘Everything turns against me, whatever I do,’ he whispered. He was very weary, so he sat down on the ground by a wild pear tree no bigger than a child, growing in this spot. Just then a wind blew and moved the leaves of the tree, making a sound which for some unknown reason reminded Wokulski of old times. ‘Where’s my happiness?’ he thought.
He felt a pressure in his chest, which gradually mounted into his throat. He wanted to draw a deep breath, but could not; he thought he would suffocate, and seized the tree with both hands as it went on rustling. ‘I’m dying…’ he exclaimed. It seemed to him his blood was boiling, his chest exploding, he writhed in pain and suddenly burst into tears. ‘Merciful God! Merciful God!’ he kept repeating, amidst sobs.
The railroad man crouched over him and cautiously put one hand under his head. ‘Weep, sir,’ he said, leaning down, ‘weep, sir, and call upon God…You will not call on Him in vain. He who puts himself into God’s hands and sincerely trusts in Him, no terrible fear shall fall upon him…He will save you from the devil’s traps…What’s wealth, or the greatest treasure? Everything betrays a man, only God will not desert him.’
Wokulski pressed his face to the earth. It seemed to him that with every tear, a little pain, disappointment and despair fell from his heart. His disordered mind began finding its way back to equilibrium. He already realised what he had been doing, and he understood that in a time of misery, when everything else had betrayed him—the earth, a simple man and God remained faithful to him.
Gradually he grew calmer, sobs tore his chest less often, he felt weak all over and fell into a deep sleep.
When he woke, day was dawning; he sat up, rubbed his eyes, saw Wysocki beside him and remembered everything. ‘Did I sleep long?’ he asked.
‘Fifteen minutes…Maybe a half hour,’ the railroad man answered.
Wokulski brought out his wallet, produced several hundred-rouble notes, and giving them to Wysocki, said: ‘Mind…yesterday I was drunk. Tell no one what happened here. Take this…For your children…’
The railroad man kissed his hand. ‘I thought you had lost everything, sir, and that was why…’ he said.
‘You are right,’ Wokulski replied thoughtfully, ‘I’ve lost everything…except my fortune. I won’t forget you, although…I’d rather be dead.’
‘I thought right away, sir, that a gentleman like you wouldn’t go looking for trouble, even if you lost all your money. Human wickedness was the cause.…But an end will come to that, too…God works slow, but He is just, you will see, sir.’
Wokulski got up from the ground and began walking to the station. Suddenly he turned back to Wysocki. ‘When you are in Warsaw,’ he said, ‘come to me…But not a word of what happened here.’
‘I won’t say a word, so help me God,’ Wysocki replied, and he took off his cap.
‘But a second time,’ Wokulski added, putting a hand on his arm, ‘a second time…If you meet another man…You understand me? If you meet another man, don’t save him…When a man wishes to stand before God’s judgement with his injuries, don’t stop him! Don’t!’
XXXV
The Journal of the Old Clerk