The Dragon Revenant - Katharine Kerr [192]
“It’s not much of a cut, Your Grace,” Gwin said.
“Better get a chirurgeon anyway, eh?” Sligyn rumbled. “Where’s that blasted Talidd? Curse the man—he’s not much of host, eh?”
And Sligyn was honestly surprised when everyone burst out laughing.
It was well into the evaening watch by the time that Rhodry and his retinue came back to Lord Edar’s dun. Nevyn lingered in the great hall just long enough to hear that the would-be rebels had been properly shamed; then he insisted that Gwin come up to his chamber and have his wound treated. Jill came along, too—she’d done a clumsy but serviceable job of binding the wound earlier—and cut fresh bandages while he washed it out and stitched it up. Painful though the procedure must have been, not a muscle of Gwin’s face moved during it. Nevyn sent him back to the great hall with orders to drink a couple of goblets of mead, then helped Jill as she cleaned up.
“You look sad, child. I would have thought you’d be dancing in glee tonight.”
“Well, I’m happy enough for Rhodry’s sake.”
“Not your own? Come now, soon you’ll have a splendid wedding, and you’ll be the most powerful woman in all Eldidd.”
“Everyone keeps talking about my rotten wedding. Do you realize that Rhodry never even asked me to marry him? He just assumed that I was going to, and so does everyone, and you and Blaen are the worst of the bad lot, and I don’t want to be the wretched most powerful woman in all anywhere, curse you all!”
For a moment he thought she was about to cry, but instead she merely stood there openmouthed and shocked at her own outburst. Nevyn himself was so surprised that it took him a moment to find something to say.
“Indeed? Then what do you want?”
“I want to study dweomer and have Rhodry, too.”
“No reason you can’t.”
“Oh, stop treating me like a child or a half-wit!”
“I wasn’t aware that I was.”
“Then answer me honestly.” Her voice was calm again, even cold. “If I marry Rhodry, am I going to be able to master the dweomer? I don’t mean study the odd bit of lore or the odd mental trick. I want to be a master like you and serve the kingdom like you do, too. A couple of months ago, I could never have said that—it would have sounded conceited—but I know better now. That’s what I want, but if I marry Rhodry and get turned into his chatelaine and castellan and the mother of his heirs and the Goddess herself only knows what else, am I going to be able to have it?”
“You’re not, truly.” He stopped himself from adding, “not in this life, anyway.” She would have to ask before he could reveal that secret. “There just quite simply won’t be enough time.”
“So I thought. But can I just leave him? He needs me.”
For a moment the room spun around him. His face must have gone white, because Jill rushed over and took his arm.
“What’s wrong? Is it your heart? Here, sit down. There’s a big chest right behind you.”
With a sigh Nevyn sat and leaned back against the wall for support.
“My heart’s fine, my thanks. You just took me by surprise, and I am getting on a bit, you know. Are you honestly thinking of leaving Rhodry?”
“I am. I suppose you think I’m a fool. Most women would. Or a harridan—most men would think that.”
“I don’t think you’re either, frankly. I will say that the decision has to be yours and yours alone.”
“Well, I rather knew that.” She smiled at him, then turned to pace restlessly back and forth. “I wouldn’t mind a bit of advice, though. Do I have the right to leave him and put the dweomer first?”
“I’m the absolutely worst person in the entire kingdom to ask that question. Once, and a good long time ago it was, too, I had to make this same choice. I chose wrong.”
“You took dweomer instead of the woman you loved?”
“Not instead of, exactly. I could have had both. I was just so greedy and impatient for power that I saw her as a nuisance—which she wouldn’t have been at all—and so like the arrogant dolt I was, I deserted her.