The Durango Affair - Brenda Jackson [26]
Durango took another sip of his coffee. He appreciated her sharing that bit of history with him but felt compelled to ask, “So what does any of that has to do with my asking you to marry me…or why you won’t sleep with me once we’re married?”
Savannah leaned back in her own chair. “More than anything I want my child to be a part of a large, loving family. I also want my child to know that its father is a part of its life because he wants to be, and not because he was forced to be.”
A part of Durango reached out to her, feeling her pain caused by a father who hadn’t cared. He was not that kind of man and he was glad she knew it. “I will be a good father to our child, Savannah.”
She smiled wryly. “I believe that you will, Durango. Now the issue is whether I believe you will be good to me, as well.”
He lifted his brow. “You think I’ll mistreat you?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I think you are a man who likes women but I don’t want to be just another available body to you, Durango. Not to you or to any man.”
Durango placed his teacup down, thinking that if she expected an apology from him for all the women he’d enjoyed before meeting her, she could forget it. Like he’d told her before, what was in the past should stay in the past, unless…
His stomach tightened at the thought that she might assume he would mess around on her. He met her gaze. “Are you worried about me being unfaithful during the time we’re married?”
She met his gaze. “That has never crossed my mind. Should it have?”
“No.”
He was glad it hadn’t crossed her mind because even if she did deny him bedroom rights, he would never give her a reason to question his fidelity. He shook his head. If nothing else, since that night they’d spent together, Savannah had shown him that was definitely a difference between women. Some were only made to bed and some were meant to wed. Savannah, whether she knew it or not, was one of the marrying kind.
She deserved more than a short-term marriage. She deserved a husband who would love and pamper her, for better or for worse and for the rest of her life. A smart man would be good to her and treat her right. Someone who would treat her like a woman of her caliber should be treated. And more importantly, he should be a man who could introduce her to the pleasures men and women shared, pleasures she was denying herself.
He would never forget that night when she had gotten an orgasm. She had acted as if it had been her first one and she hadn’t expected the magnitude of the explosion that had ripped through her body. And now he was glad he had shared that with her. But he wanted to share other things with her, as well. And she was wrong if she thought them sleeping together would just be for his benefit. Somehow he had to convince her it would be for her benefit, as well. She needed to understand that a woman has needs just like a man. If nothing else, he needed to prove that to her.
But now was not the time to make waves. He was fairly certain there would be opportunities for what he had in mind before and after their wedding, and he planned to take advantage of both.
“I think of you as more than an available body, Savannah,” he said truthfully. “And I’m sorry that you see things that way. In my book, there’s nothing wrong with men and women who like and respect each other satisfying their needs, needs they might not be able to control…especially when they’re alone together.”
He sighed. She was listening to everything he said yet he could tell his discussion of needs was foreign to her. She might have experienced wanting and desire in her lifetime, but she hadn’t had to tackle the full-fledged need that sent some women out to shop for certain types of sex toys.
He studied her, watched how her fingertips softly stroked the side of her cup. Her light touch made him wish that she would stroke him the same way. He realized that although she had no idea what the gesture