The Dust [64]
to speak--as if I weren't fit to speak to."
"Oh!" said Norman.
"Then he came hurrying after me. And he said, `Do you know that Norman is to be married in two weeks?' "
"So!" said Norman.
"And I said, `What of it? How does that interest me?' "
"It didn't interest you?"
"I was surprised that you hadn't spoken of it," replied she. "But I was more interested in Mr. Tetlow's manner. What do you think he said next?"
"I can't imagine," said Norman.
"Why--that I was even more shameless than he thought. He said: `Oh, I know all about you. I found out by accident. I shan't tell anyone, for I can't help loving you still. But it has killed my belief in woman to find out that YOU would sell yourself.' "
She was looking at Norman with eyes large and grave. "And what did you say?" he inquired.
"I didn't say anything. I looked at him as if he weren't there and started on. Then he said, `When Norman abandons you, as he soon will, you can count on me, if you need a friend.' "
There was a pause. Then Norman said, "And that was all?"
"Yes," replied she.
Another pause. Norman said musingly: "Poor Tetlow! I've not seen him since he went away to Bermuda--at least he said he was going there. One day he sent the firm a formal letter of resignation. . . . Poor Tetlow! Do you regret not having married him?"
"I couldn't marry a man I didn't love." She looked at him with sweet friendly eyes. "I couldn't even marry you, much as I like you."
Norman laughed--a dismal attempt at ease and raillery.
"When he told me about your marrying," she went on, "I knew how I felt about you. For I was not a bit jealous. Why haven't you ever said anything about it?"
He disregarded this. He leaned forward and with curious deliberateness took her hand. She let it lie gently in his. He put his arm round her and drew her close to him. She did not resist. He kissed her upturned face, kissed her upon the lips. She remained passive, looking at him with calm eyes.
"Kiss me," he said.
She kissed him--without hesitation and without warmth.
"Why do you look at me so?" he demanded.
"I can't understand."
"Understand what?"
"Why you should wish to kiss me when you love another woman. What would she say if she knew?"
"I'm sure I don't know. And I rather think I don't care. You are the only person on earth that interests me."
"Then why are you marrying?"
"Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about ourselves." He clasped her passionately, kissed her at first with self-restraint, then in a kind of frenzy. "How can you be so cruel!" he cried. "Are you utterly cold?"
"I do not love you," she said.
"Why not?"
"There's no reason. I--just don't. I've sometimes thought perhaps it was because you don't love me."
"Good God, Dorothy! What do you want me to say or do?"
"Nothing," replied she calmly. "You asked me why I didn't love you, and I was trying to explain. I don't want anything more than I'm getting. I am content--aren't you?"
"Content!" He laughed sardonically. "As well ask Tantalus if he is content, with the water always before his eyes and always out of reach. I want you --all you have to give. I couldn't be content with less."
"You ought not to talk to me this way," she reproved gently, "when you are engaged."
He flung her hand into her lap. "You are making a fool of me. And I don't wonder. I've invited it. Surely, never since man was created has there been such another ass as I." He drew her to her feet, seized her roughly by the shoulders. "When are you coming to your senses?" he demanded.
"What do you mean?" she inquired, in her child- like puzzled way.
He shook her, kissed her violently, held her at arm's length. "Do you think it wise to trifle with me?" he asked. "Don't your good sense tell you there's a limit even to such folly as mine?"
"What IS the matter?" she asked pathetically. "What do you want? I can't give you what I haven't got to give."
"No," he cried. "But I want what you HAVE got to give."
She shook
"Oh!" said Norman.
"Then he came hurrying after me. And he said, `Do you know that Norman is to be married in two weeks?' "
"So!" said Norman.
"And I said, `What of it? How does that interest me?' "
"It didn't interest you?"
"I was surprised that you hadn't spoken of it," replied she. "But I was more interested in Mr. Tetlow's manner. What do you think he said next?"
"I can't imagine," said Norman.
"Why--that I was even more shameless than he thought. He said: `Oh, I know all about you. I found out by accident. I shan't tell anyone, for I can't help loving you still. But it has killed my belief in woman to find out that YOU would sell yourself.' "
She was looking at Norman with eyes large and grave. "And what did you say?" he inquired.
"I didn't say anything. I looked at him as if he weren't there and started on. Then he said, `When Norman abandons you, as he soon will, you can count on me, if you need a friend.' "
There was a pause. Then Norman said, "And that was all?"
"Yes," replied she.
Another pause. Norman said musingly: "Poor Tetlow! I've not seen him since he went away to Bermuda--at least he said he was going there. One day he sent the firm a formal letter of resignation. . . . Poor Tetlow! Do you regret not having married him?"
"I couldn't marry a man I didn't love." She looked at him with sweet friendly eyes. "I couldn't even marry you, much as I like you."
Norman laughed--a dismal attempt at ease and raillery.
"When he told me about your marrying," she went on, "I knew how I felt about you. For I was not a bit jealous. Why haven't you ever said anything about it?"
He disregarded this. He leaned forward and with curious deliberateness took her hand. She let it lie gently in his. He put his arm round her and drew her close to him. She did not resist. He kissed her upturned face, kissed her upon the lips. She remained passive, looking at him with calm eyes.
"Kiss me," he said.
She kissed him--without hesitation and without warmth.
"Why do you look at me so?" he demanded.
"I can't understand."
"Understand what?"
"Why you should wish to kiss me when you love another woman. What would she say if she knew?"
"I'm sure I don't know. And I rather think I don't care. You are the only person on earth that interests me."
"Then why are you marrying?"
"Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about ourselves." He clasped her passionately, kissed her at first with self-restraint, then in a kind of frenzy. "How can you be so cruel!" he cried. "Are you utterly cold?"
"I do not love you," she said.
"Why not?"
"There's no reason. I--just don't. I've sometimes thought perhaps it was because you don't love me."
"Good God, Dorothy! What do you want me to say or do?"
"Nothing," replied she calmly. "You asked me why I didn't love you, and I was trying to explain. I don't want anything more than I'm getting. I am content--aren't you?"
"Content!" He laughed sardonically. "As well ask Tantalus if he is content, with the water always before his eyes and always out of reach. I want you --all you have to give. I couldn't be content with less."
"You ought not to talk to me this way," she reproved gently, "when you are engaged."
He flung her hand into her lap. "You are making a fool of me. And I don't wonder. I've invited it. Surely, never since man was created has there been such another ass as I." He drew her to her feet, seized her roughly by the shoulders. "When are you coming to your senses?" he demanded.
"What do you mean?" she inquired, in her child- like puzzled way.
He shook her, kissed her violently, held her at arm's length. "Do you think it wise to trifle with me?" he asked. "Don't your good sense tell you there's a limit even to such folly as mine?"
"What IS the matter?" she asked pathetically. "What do you want? I can't give you what I haven't got to give."
"No," he cried. "But I want what you HAVE got to give."
She shook