The Eden Express_ A Memoir of Insanity - Mark Vonnegut [128]
There are probably a dozen or so separate diseases responsible for what we now call schizophrenia and manic depression. Until the definitive work is done, many things are plausible and almost anything is possible. This lack of certainty makes mental illness wonderful ground for intellectual speculation and absolute hell for patients and their families.
At the time I wrote my book I felt that the large doses of vitamins with which I was treated, along with more conventional approaches, had a great deal to do with my recovery. It was my hope that many people diagnosed as schizophrenic would get better if only their doctors would become more open-minded and treat them with vitamins. Since that time I’ve seen people with breakdowns like mine recover every bit as completely as I did without vitamin therapy. I’ve seen many cases where vitamin therapy didn’t make any difference and a lot of cases like mine where it’s hard to say exactly what did what.
I continue to feel a great deal of affection for the doctors who treated me. They were good doctors, with or without vitamins, which they saw mostly as something that couldn’t hurt and might help. I continue to feel that the debate over whether or not vitamins might have a role in the treatment of some forms of mental illness has been miserably handled by both sides.
What I can no longer continue to do is to maintain that the vitamins played a major role in my recovery. I have not changed the text of my book because I think it should stand as I wrote it. I remain very proud of the book but if I could have one line back I’d delete “The more the vitamins took hold…” (p. 282). I’d also drop the paragraphs dealing with how to find out more about the vitamin therapy in the postscript.
Life has been good to me. I made it into and through medical school and managed to enjoy myself most of the time. I’m a pediatrician and I continue to find it very congenial, rewarding work. I have two healthy sons and am still in love with my wife. I’m surprised how much I care about the Red Sox.
I still think a fair amount about the sixties and trying to be a good hippie. I’m under no illusion that I understand exactly what was going on back then, but there are a few things that need saying. We were not the spaced-out, flaky, self-absorbed, wimpy, whiney flower children depicted in movies and TV shows alleging to depict the times. It’s true that we were too young, too inexperienced, and in the end too vulnerable to bad advice from middle-aged sociopathic gurus. Things eventually went bad, but before they went bad hippies did a lot of good. Brave, honest, and true, they paid a price. I’m sure no one will ever study it, but my guess is that there are as many disabled and deeply scarred ex-hippies as there are Vietnam Vets.
When all is said and done, the times were out of joint. Adults as much as said they didn’t have a clue as to what should be done and that it was up to us: the best, bravest, brightest children ever to fix things up. We gave it our best shot, and I’m glad I was there.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
After writing The Eden Express, Mark Vonnegut went to Harvard Medical School and then completed his Pediatric Internship and Residency at Massachusetts General Hospital. He has been a primary-care pediatrician for the past twenty years and has his own practice in the Boston area. He continues to write but feels very blessed to have been able to make his living as a pediatrician rather than as a writer. Having been seriously mentally ill, he is grateful for opportunities to be useful.
He lives with his wife and their four-month-old son, Mark Oliver, in Milton, Mass. He has