The Eden Express_ A Memoir of Insanity - Mark Vonnegut [54]
Simon sounded worried. “Take it easy, Mark, everything will be just fine.”
A happy ending, something nice. I hoped it would somehow be all over as soon as we got to town. Maybe getting away from the farm would do the trick. At least in town we could see newspapers, make phone calls, and try to put everything all together.
Maybe Virge would meet us at the dock and everything would be fine.
She would be there. The closer to town we got the more sure I was. Virge was waiting at the dock. Everything was going to be just fine. Or at any rate whatever was going to happen was going to happen.
Simon knew what was going on, he had to. I was counting on him not to let anything bad happen. Maybe I missed it and he had gone into town the other day and set everything up. I was crying with joy and gratitude. He had taken care of everything.
John Eastman’s boat, which was already going very fast, seemed to pick up speed and leave the sound behind.
I felt myself losing power. I drew into myself to save strength. I lay on the floor of the boat, sinking deeper and deeper into myself. I was losing awareness of anything outside myself and then I heard the engine slow down; we were there. I lay still on the floor of the boat and heard someone come running down the dock. Vincent was talking very excitedly to Simon. I could just barely make out what he was saying. He asked where I was and I heard Simon say that I was on the floor of the boat in some sort of a state. I caught only bits and pieces of their conversation and felt myself slowly losing the battle to maintain consciousness, but I could tell from their conversation that Virge was in about the same state in the back of Vincent’s station wagon. I groaned louder. Apparently shortly after Virginia and Vincent made love in California, Virginia had begun acting stranger and stranger much the same way I had, and then had become unable to do much more than grunt and groan that she had to find Mark.
The old rock-and-roll song “One Last Kiss” started playing through my mind along with wondering whether this was very good or very poor poetry. I felt myself being picked up and carried and then put down again. I could feel Virginia next to me but I couldn’t move or speak. Slowly I began to feel a warmth where our arms and legs were touching. The warmth began to spread through my body. I felt life coming back to me. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t. So I just lay there trying to send Virginia warm thoughts and picking up the love she was sending me. “It’s all going to be all right, it’s all going to be fine,” we said back and forth without words. “Don’t worry now, it’s all going to be all right, love.” “I know. I know.”
The warmth from where our arms and legs had been touching spread over my whole body and became everything. Time and place meant nothing, there was just being next to her and a deeper feeling of peace and joy than I had ever known. How long had we been lying like this? I had no idea. It could have been minutes or years. It was infinite. It was enough. It was a happy ending.
Then through the warmth I heard Simon’s voice, “Mark, are you all right?” I nodded very slightly. I started thinking about Simon and Vincent and Jack and Kathy and everybody I had ever known and everybody Virginia had ever known and what effect our miracle of love must be having on them. Easily as good a story as Jesus, I thought, probably better in a way.
The warmth started to fade. I became aware of cold and damp and little aches here and there. I heard the sound of an engine. I found I could open my eyes. Simon was looking at me worriedly. There was no Virginia beside me, just a soggy coil of rope. We were no more than halfway down the lake. I smiled at Simon and tried to reassure him that everything was going to be all right.
What could I tell Simon? It was just about impossible to say anything above the