The Education of Millionaires - Michael Ellsberg [77]
“And if you can talk with them about that, and help them solve that problem—the underlying motivation—then they’ll want to do business with you. Because they can tell you actually get what’s going on inside of them, you care about what they care about, and you’re helping them with something that is actually very deep to them, not a superficial problem. If you try to sell a solution before you’ve mutually agreed on the problem you’re trying to solve—which is what most salespeople do—people mostly aren’t interested.”
What I learned from Victor, and from reading SPIN Selling, is this: if you’re talking with someone about their innermost needs and desires, the last thing you want to do is throw a bunch of manipulative pressure on them. All that’s called for is: get to the heart of the matter. Why do they really want this change in their life? What’s really behind the desire for this change?
And, once you’ve inquired thoroughly with your prospect about what’s going on at that core emotional level, if it turns out that what you’re offering honestly and effectively addresses that, then great—you’re a match, and it’s likely you’ll do business together. And if not, then you refer them to someone who can help them with that. At no point would you ever try to manipulate or pressure someone into buying something that is not a great match for their deepest desires and needs.
After Victor’s demonstration, both Jena and I bought SPIN Selling and read and absorbed every word. This single book obliterates the need for any more sleazy, pushy, aggressive, annoying sales tactics on the planet. And sales becomes—breathe a sigh of relief—an honest conversation between two authentic human beings.
Once Jena and I began honestly talking with and listening to our prospects, on an emotional level, about their deepest wants, needs, fears, and desires, rather than subjecting them to some sales “pitch” about our services, our businesses began flourishing. It turns out—surprise, surprise—people don’t really want to be “pitched” at. They want you to listen to them; they want you to hear them; they want you to get them; and they want to trust your integrity that you will only sell them something they’ll end up being happy with, so that you can continue to do business together in the future. And if you can communicate all of these, authentically, they’ll want to do business with you.
Of course, I never learned any of this in college. In fact, I never learned anything in college about how to get people to want to hire me or do business with me. Which, if you think about it, is kinda strange. Selling a kid an expensive, potentially debt-laden investment in human capital, so that he may increase the value of his labor in the marketplace, without being sure he knows how to sell that labor to the marketplace, is sort of like selling a kid an expensive, debt-laden car, without being sure he knows how to drive.
Victor says: “The most useful class I took in college was public speaking. I use it a surprising amount. The second most useful class I took in college was how to be a listener—I took a peer counselor class for suicide prevention, which was all about how to listen without judgments. Thus, the most useful classes I took in college were not part of the main academic experience. A lot of the skills you need to be successful—and I mean, you need them if you want to be successful—they’re just not taught in college. Even in most business schools.
“I remember one year, I looked at the course curriculum for Harvard Business School, Wharton Business School, and Stanford Business School. Between them, they offered somewhere around four hundred classes. Out of those four hundred classes, there was not one class on sales. Wharton had one class on sales force management, but there was no class on sales.