The Egg Said Nothing - Caris O'Malley [12]
“No,” I said quickly. “Let’s go upstairs.” I turned toward the elevator, Ashley following close behind. Why did I go to 312? On tonight of all nights?
“Now, this is where you live, right?” Ashley asked, standing beside 412. “Because if you don’t actually live anywhere, I’m okay with that.”
“No, I really live somewhere,” I said. “There’s a door and a few windows and a few rooms. It’s a shithole, mind you, but I do live there.” I set about unlocking the locks.
Ashley watched me work my way through the system. “Paranoid?” she asked.
“You have no idea.”
The door swung open. I reached around it and flipped on the light. “After you,” I said.
She walked in. Her eyes jumped around the blank walls, pausing where things should be but weren’t. “So, you live here?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Live as in just sleep?” She paused. “How much time do you actually spend here?”
“More than I should,” I said. “Too much.”
“And what do you do?” she asked.
“I have delusional fantasies.”
Ashley walked over to the living room window. “And what do you look at? Headlines?”
“I don’t spend a lot of time looking out that one,” I said. “Or any of the others, to be honest. You know, I don’t know what I do. But, in the recent past, I’ve spent most of my time here. I’ve been in a rut. Things haven’t been going that well.”
She turned to face me. “How come?”
“I can’t even answer that. It hasn’t been any worse than any other time, I guess. It’s just me. I’ve sort of lost the will to do anything constructive with my time. But I think I’m getting it back.”
“Oh, because of me, I suppose,” she said. I scanned her face, finding some trace of sarcasm.
“I think so,” I said.
She scoffed.
“After knowing you existed, I realized I needed to change. I wanted to be the kind of person who could talk to you. Yesterday, I wasn’t.”
“You talked to me yesterday,” she shot back.
“Not really,” I countered. “I barely said anything.”
“You could have.” She walked away, turning her head towards me as she moved. It was true, I could have. Much like I might have stolen a Mondrian painting.
She sat down on my couch and threw her left leg up on the coffee table, the blue of her denim jeans looking almost gray in the light. “So, you’ve got me here. What are we going to do?”
“The remote’s around there somewhere,” I said. I watched Ashley look for it.
She looked up at me. “I can’t find it,” she said.
“Probably lost in the couch cushions. We can do this the old fashioned way.” I walked around the side of the couch and kneeled down in front of the television.
“What are we watching?” she asked, staring at the screen.
“No idea. Doesn’t really matter,” I said.
“Doesn’t really matter? After all of that shit about the quality of night time programming?” Her eyes accused me, but her mouth begged me to quit being so awkward and just do what came natural.
“No. Not really.”
“What kinds of movies do you like?” Ashley asked, chewing on a fingernail.
“Horror movies,” I said. “Bad ones.”
She turned to face me, crossing her legs. “Do you have an all-time favorite?”
“Weasels Rip My Flesh, hands down,” I said. “It’s really awesome.”
“Sounds like it,” she said.
We both turned to the television. It was at a commercial. My eyes wandered, drifting back to my companion.
“What?” she asked, catching my stare.
“I just want to see what you look like up close,” I said, shrugging.
Self-consciously, she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. She appeared slightly uncomfortable.
“Hey,” I said softly. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” she said. “What about you?”
“I was just thinking there’s something about you that I really like. I’m so happy to be getting to know you.”
She spread her fingers, and my fingers went over their periphery, creating an outline in the empty space. Suddenly, she pulled away. “Do you think this is going too fast?”
“Too fast?”
“I mean, it’s just been a couple of hours.”
I grew more worried with each breath I took. “And what have we done?”