The Egg Said Nothing - Caris O'Malley [14]
Opening my eyes, I saw what I wanted to see. It was beginning to darken as the late afternoon sun started to leave the room, perched nonchalantly on the edge of the window like an overfed cat. I felt Ashley’s chest swell and fall with each easy breath, the soft skin sliding underneath my arm. I couldn’t help but squeeze her tighter to my chest.
The added pressure to her body roused her. I was far from disappointed, as the sound of her voice would be quite welcome. I felt an active need to have her eyes on me, just to be the focal point of her moment. Every second I spent with her was a second she could never take back.
“Hey,” she said, snuggling into my chest. I ran my hand over her smooth stomach, allowing it to rest there.
“Hey,” I said. “You’re still here.” Her face was turned away from me, but I could tell she was smiling.
“I am,” she said. “How do you feel about that?”
“I’m pretty fucking thrilled, to tell the truth,” I replied. Her laugh warmed the room even more than the lazy sunlight. “How do you feel about it? Any reservations?”
“Nope. I feel wonderful, but I think I’ll have to go soon,” she said.
“I’m not throwing you out,” I offered.
“No, but I’ll have to get up eventually. I have to feed my fish.”
“Your fish?”
“Yeah. A slimy orange swimming thing. It lives in water.”
I suddenly wished her fish had died a long time ago. “Oh, that kind of fish.”
“Yeah, that kind.” Holding the sheet to her chest, she rolled over to face me. She bit her bottom lip. “What do you think of me?”
“I think you’re perfect,” I replied truthfully.
“Even though we just met and I’m here in your bed? You don’t think…” she trailed off. Her hands gripped the sheet more tightly now, as if everything that was going to happen was contingent on the next string of words to be expelled from my mouth.
“I think you’re an incredibly strong person,” I said. “And I see this is something you would have rather had gone differently. But you’re willing to take a risk on something as fleeting as a feeling, and I think that’s awesome.”
“But what if going so fast ruins us? What if I’ve just severed any chance at a real connection?”
“What is a connection?” I asked. “Is it some defined number of months? Is it knowing someone’s shoe size? No, it’s something bigger than that.”
“I guess you’re right,” she said, hopefully resigning herself to the idea.
“Here’s what we’ll do,” I reasoned. “Let’s throw convention to the wind and scatter its ashes like some old dead aunt. And when anyone asks, we’ll say we’ve been together for a year. If that lady in the Laundromat thought it plausible, why shouldn’t it be?”
“That sounds pretty good,” she said, looking quite relieved. Gently, I nudged her face upwards with my forehead and found her lips. Whatever her brain wouldn’t accept, I tried to explain to her through her mouth. She kissed me softly, but pulled away suddenly. “My god, my breath must be awful.”
“It’s good,” I said, moving in again. She clasped her hand over her mouth.
“Sweet, but no.”
She slid away from me. When she got to the edge of the bed, she looked down and reached her hand out, gathering her underwear from the floor and putting it on under the covers. She stood and started her walk around the bed. Her underwear was riding up slightly from where she had pulled it on so quickly. With every step it rode a little higher. Absentmindedly, she adjusted it as she scanned the floor. She found her bra near the door, turned away from me and put it back on.
Still, the view I had was near perfect. Ashley’s body was outlined in sunlight, giving me the opportunity to commit the shape of it to memory. She lifted her jeans from the floor and climbed into them, smoothing the fabric with her hands.
She looked at me as she picked