The Empire Trilogy - J. G. Farrell [476]
‘God help ye, y’ blithering lot o’ helpless bastards!’ he babbled, fighting for breath. ‘Let’s see another dry drill then, you perfumed bunch o’ pansies or, God help ye, the fists’ll be flyin’ or me name’s not McMahon! Get on with it … A dry drill, I’m tellin’ ye!’
‘I thought we were going to do a wet drill today,’ said the Major, looking dissatisfied. ‘That’s what you said last time.’
‘This time I’m sayin’ it’s a dry drill, y’bastard, so hop to it and see that ye run the bleedin’ hose out without a twist in it or ye’ll catch it hot, I’m tellin’ ye …’
‘Well, we might just do one,’ said the Major, ‘in order to get the feel of it before we do a wet drill. I’m afraid McMahon’s not going to be much help to us today by the look of it,’ he added in an undertone to the rest of the unit.
‘I heard that, y’ pissin’ old goat,’ yelled McMahon, quivering with a fresh paroxysm of rage and struggling ineffectually to get to his feet, evidently with the intention of exacting retribution.
‘Shut up or we’ll bash your silly brains in,’ said Monty languidly, sloping off in the direction of the bungalow.
‘Look here, Monty, where are you off to? We’re just going to begin,’ said the Major indignantly.
‘I’m just going to find an aspirin, old boy, if you don’t mind.’
‘Well, hurry up about it. I’ll try and explain the basic drill to Matthew in the meantime.’
There were, the Major explained, two types of hose: suction hose for picking up water from an open source such as a canal or a river, and delivery hose, for relaying water to the fire. Suction hose had a wide diameter and was reinforced to keep it cylindrical; it also had wire strainers to prevent stones or rubbish being sucked up into the pump. ‘Have you got that?’
‘I think so. This other one, then, is the delivery hosepipe, is it?’
From under his tree McMahon shrieked with laughter. ‘Hosepipe! He thinks he’s a bleedin’ gardener!’
‘Hm, I should have mentioned that, we say “hose” rather than “hosepipe”, and ropes are known as “lines” and the rungs of a ladder are called “rounds” … I don’t suppose it matters particularly, as we’re just a scratch team, but McMahon seems to prefer it.’
Delivery hose, the Major continued, was wound flat on a revolving drum and came in fifty or a hundred-foot lengths with a diameter of two or three inches; at the business end there was a tapering brass tube called the ‘branch’, not the nozzle! The drill was that the number one man ran off in the direction of the fire with the branch, unreeling a length of hose as he went; meanwhile the number three man laid out another length of hose and dealt with the couplings. These couplings were what were known as ‘male’ and ‘female’, that was to say …
‘That fat pansy wouldn’t know the difference if ye took up y’skirts and showed him!’
‘That will do, McMahon,’ said the Major sharply. He turned back to Matthew. ‘The idea is that the male coupling plugs into the female on the previous length of hose. The male plugs into the standpipe, if that’s where the water is coming from, or into the engine pump. Meanwhile the runner takes hold of the lugs on the “female” end around which the delivery hose is normally wrapped and he uses them as an axle round which the roll of hose unwinds. Here, Nigel will give us a demonstration.’
Nigel obediently took the roll of hose and holding it a little way from his body went loping gracefully away with it, laying it down neatly on the turf behind him as he went.
‘It’s not as easy as it looks. Nigel’s rather good at it.’
It was true. Everybody watched in admiration and even McMahon was temporarily silenced by this display of skill. There was still no sign of Monty so Cheong was sent to look for him. Meanwhile Mr Wu, who with Dupigny and Cheong had been tinkering with the engine, was called forward to show Matthew how to climb a ladder which had earlier been set up against the roof of the Mayfair.
‘When climbing radder glasp lounds not side of radder,’ explained Mr Wu to Matthew.
‘What?’
‘Glasp lungs!’
‘Good