The Everything Kids' Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers - Michael Dahl [0]
EVERYTHING®
KIDS'
GIANT
BOOK OF JOKES,
RIDDLES, AND
BRAIN TEASERS
Michael Dahl, Kathi Wagner, Aubrey Wagner, and Aileen Weintraub
PUBLISHER Karen Cooper
DIRECTOR OF ACQUISITIONS AND INNOVATION Paula Munier
MANAGING EDITOR, EVERYTHING® SERIES Lisa Laing
COPY CHIEF Casey Ebert
ACQUISITIONS EDITOR Katrina Schroeder
SENIOR DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Brett Palana-Shanahan
ASSOCIATE DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Hillary Thompson
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Ross Weisman
EVERYTHING® SERIES COVER DESIGNER Erin Alexander
LAYOUT DESIGNERS Colleen Cunningham, Elisabeth Lariviere, Ashley Vierra, Denise Wallace
Copyright © 2010 by F+W Media, Inc.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews and photocopies made for classroom use.
An Everything® Series Book.
Everything® and everything.com® are registered trademarks of F+W Media, Inc.
Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com
Contains material adapted and abridged from The Everything® Kids' Joke Book by Michael Dahl, copyright © 2001 by F+W Media, Inc., ISBN 10: 1-58062-686-6, ISBN 13: 978-1-58062-686-6; The Everything® Kids' Knock Knock Book by Aileen Weintraub, copyright © 2004 by F+W Media, Inc., ISBN 10: 1-59337-127-6, ISBN-13: 978-1-59337-127-2; The Everything® Kids' Riddles & Brain Teasers Book by Kathi Wagner and Aubrey Wagner, copyright © 2004 by F+W Media, Inc., ISBN 10: 1-59337-036-9, ISBN-13: 978-1-59337-036-7.
ISBN 10: 1-4405-0633-7
ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0633-8
eISBN 10: 1-4405-0634-5
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0634-5
Printed by RR Donnelley, Harrisonburg, VA, US
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
August 2010
Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. When those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.
Interior illustrations by Kurt Dobler and Barry Littmann. Puzzles by Beth L. Blair.
This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
Visit the entire Everything® series at www.everything.com
contents
PART ONE: JOKES
Monster Mania
Sickos
What's Gnu?
Crazy Colors (or Hue Must Be Nuts!)
Computer Wonks
Tom and Tina Swifties
Didja Hear?
Larry and Luna
School Jokes
Quickies
Outta This World
Professor Fruitcake
Hinky-Pinkys
Ring the Doorbell! (Knock Knock Jokes)
Jurassic Pork
Gross!
How's Business?
Having a Ball
Video Quips (Punny Names)
Gags and Giggles
The World's Seven Best Limericks
Signs on the Dotty Line
Laughing Stock
Pundemonium
Nuts from the Family Tree
You Know You're a Loser When
Spoonerisms
Nun of That
Way-Out Out West (Cowboy Jokes)
Money Is Only Paper
A Nutty Crime
Classic One-Liners
More One-Liners
Medical Marvels
Tongue Twisters
In the Bag
Burma-Shave: The Unknown Comic with an Edge
The Nickname Game
Goofballs
Watt's the Problem? (Light Bulb Jokes)
Anything for a Laugh
Elephant Jokes
PART TWO: KNOCK KNOCK
Once Upon a Knock-Knock
When Fun Comes a Knockin'
Tied Up in Knock-Knocks
Knock-Knock Your Socks Off
Who's That Knockin'?
One Two Three O'Clock Knock
Knock 'Em Dead with Knock-Knocks
Knock-Knock Yourself Silly
A Knock Here, a Knock There
PART THREE: RIDDLES & BRAIN TEASERS
Time for School
It's a Zoo
Travel the World
Food and Drink
Crossing Over
Perfectly at Home
Let's Play Sports
All in the Family
APPENDIX A: PUZZLE ANSWERS
Part One
JOKES
HUMANS ARE THE ONLY CREATURES on this planet who laugh. Oh sure, hyenas make a funny bark that may sound like a laugh. Grade B movies and sitcoms show chimpanzees and dolphins laughing at their silly human costars. But people are the only animals that giggle, chuckle, titter, guffaw, belly laugh, chortle, and yuck. Have you ever known a hamster who snickers at an elephant joke? Or a Rottweiler