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By Root 2302 0

open of the elevator doors and Lydia’s and Norm’s four squeaky shoes entering the elevator and the scrolling shut of the elevator doors, when I saw Haywood Finch’s blurry shadow through the smoked-glass door to room 308: BEHAVIORAL BIOLOGY LABORATORY, and I heard the sound of Haywood selecting a particular key from his hoop of many keys, and I heard the key being pushed into the lock and turned with the turning of the door’s handle. And I know that the door opened and Haywood entered the room and switched on the lights, which fluttered on in the way energy-saving fluorescent lights do, the full glow preceded by three false starts: nzt-nzt-nzt-nzzzzzzzzzz—————. And I know that upon seeing him, I stood up in my cage, and held on to the bars with one hand, and with the other I pointed at myself and said, as loudly and as articulately as any man: “BRUNO!”

And I know that I wished Lydia had been there to hear me.

Part Two

What may this mean? Language of man pronounced

By tongue of brute, and human sense expressed?

—Eve, to Satan, Paradise Lost

X

Gwen: help me. Yes, help me. Have you ever acted? Have you ever considered acting?

There’s a crucial speech in scene three of Woyzeck that I cannot possibly extirpate from the play, as it would have to be if the role could only be played by a chimp. For the role in question I had previously cast a relatively bright but of course speechless young chimp named Markus, but I have realized, and not without pain, that he is unsuited for the part, which is a small one but very important. I cannot cut the speech, and I cannot conceive of any plausible way of getting a chimp, an ordinary chimp, to deliver it. I’ve got no choice but to cast a human. It’s the part of the Showman—a charlatan, a snake-oil salesman—who musters up a festival crowd that includes Woyzeck and Marie. He has a horse that he claims can tell the time and communicate it by stamping his hooves. Anyway, his speech is too thematically important to entrust in the mouth or hands of a nonlinguistic animal. I need a human actor. You wouldn’t have many lines, I promise. Well, one big speech and a couple of little ones. Just come to our rehearsal this afternoon, see what you think. I can’t double-cast Leon in the part. It would be confusing. I already have him cast in the role of the Doctor. Leon has a massive stage presence, which is why I only want him playing one part. Obviously I don’t mind casting across gender. I’m already casting across species. Please. Fine. Sleep on it. Consider it seriously, though. Here, take this. It’s a copy of the play. I urge you to give it serious consideration. You’re not badly suited for the stage, Gwen. You cut a striking figure, you have such a crisp, clean, beautiful voice. I’m not trying to flatter you. Give it some thought, that’s all I ask. You’d be great. I’m not crazy. Really.

I’ve just realized that I have come a long way in my narrative without bothering to describe myself. Physically, I mean. The basics. I wouldn’t want people to go on picturing me as an ordinary chimp.

On August 20 of this year I will be twenty-five years old. Years of bipedal standing and walking have straightened my spine, lengthened my legs and stretched my torso, and I now stand an upright four feet and one inch, which is short for a human being but basically towering for a chimpanzee. I groom myself meticulously; captivity has not made me slovenly or careless with my hygiene. I brush my teeth twice daily. I have no hair. Over ten years ago a rare but benign condition called universal alopecia caused all of my hair to fall out. I don’t mind my hairlessness. As a matter of fact, I like it. I love the feeling of my smooth nude limbs slithering between the freshly laundered sheets of my bed. I admit that I am somewhat overweight at one hundred and eighty pounds. I also admit to the surgery. Obviously I wasn’t born with this nose. I will later tell you about how a cosmetic surgeon gave me the nose job to end all nose jobs: he gave me a human nose. I think my human nose harmonizes beautifully