The Eyre Affair_ A Novel - Jasper Fforde [395]
“What’s this love/hate thing between you and Lola?”
“Oh, that’s all well over,” he said dismissively. “She’s seeing some guy over at the Heroes Advanced Classes.”
I stopped pumping as the handle met with some resistance. “We have fuel pressure. What’s next?”
“ ‘Ignition and booster coil both on.’ ”
“Check.”
“ ‘Press starter and when engine is turning, operate the primer.’ Does that make sense?”
“Let’s see.”
I pressed the starter button and the prop slowly started to move. Randolph pumped the primer, and there was a cough as the engine fired; then another, this time accompanied by a large puff of black smoke from the exhaust. A few waders who were poking around in the shallows took flight as the engine appeared to die, then caught again and started to fire more regularly, the loud detonations transmitting through the airframe as a series of rumbles, growls and squeaks. I released the start button and Randolph stopped priming. The engine smoothed out, I switched to Auto-Rich and the oil pressure started to rise. I throttled back and smiled at Randolph, who grinned at me.
“Are you seeing anyone?” I asked him.
“No.”
He looked at me with his large eyes. When we had first met, he had been an empty husk, a blank face with no personality or features to call his own. Now he was a man of fifty but with the emotional insecurity of a fifteen-year-old.
“I can’t imagine life without her, Thursday!” he suddenly burst out. “I think about her every second of every minute of every day!”
“So tell her.”
“And make myself look an idiot? She’d tell everyone at Tabularasa’s—I’d be the laughingstock of them all!”
“Who cares? Dr. Fnorp tells me it’s affecting your work; do you want to end up as a walk-on part somewhere?”
“I really don’t care,” he said sadly. “Without Lola there isn’t much of a future.”
“There’ll be other Generics!”
“Not like her. Always laughing and joking. When she’s around, the sun shines and the birds sing.” He stopped and coughed, embarrassed at his admission. “You won’t tell anyone I said all that stuff, will you?”
He was smitten good and proper.
“Randolph,” I said slowly, “you have to tell her your feelings, even for your own sake. This will prey on your mind for years!”
“What if she laughs at me?”
“What if she doesn’t? There’s a good chance she actually quite likes you!”
Randolph’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll speak to her as soon as she gets back.”
“Good.” I looked at my watch. “I’ve got roll call in twenty minutes. Let the engine run for ten minutes and then shut her down. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Who are we waiting for?” asked the Bellman.
“Godot,” replied Benedict.
“Absent again. Anybody know where he is?”
There was a mass shaking of heads.
The Bellman made a note in his book, tingled his bell and cleared his throat.
“Jurisfiction session number 40320 is now in session,” he said in a voice tinged with emotion.
“Item one. Perkins and Snell. Fine operatives who made the ultimate sacrifice for duty. Their names will be carved into the Boojumorial to live forever as inspiration for those who come after us. I call now for two minutes silence. Perkins and Snell!”
“Perkins and Snell,” we all repeated, and stood in silent memory of those lost.
“Thank you,” said the Bellman after two minutes had ticked by. “Commander Bradshaw will be taking over the bestiary. Mathias’s mare has been contacted and asked me to say thank you to all those who sent tributes. The Perkins and Snell detective series will be taken over by B-2 clones from the tribute book, and I know you will join me in wishing them the very best on their new venture.”
He paused and took a deep breath.
“These losses are a great shock to us all, and the lessons to be learned must not be ignored. We can never be too careful. Okay, item two.
He turned over a page on his clipboard.
“Investigation of Perkins’s death. Commander Bradshaw, doesn’t this come under your remit?”
“Investigations are proceeding,” replied Bradshaw slowly. “There is no reason to suppose that their deaths were anything other than an accident.”
“So