The Eyre Affair_ A Novel - Jasper Fforde [562]
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Where were we?”
“Just here.”
32.
Area 21: The Elan
Freedom of Act a Step Closer, Announces Mr.
Open government came one step closer yesterday with the announcement that Mr. would lend his weight to the Freedom of Act. The act, which aims to bring once top- information from into the hands of the, was hailed as a “great leap forward” by Mr., the Department of ’s senior. The chief opponent to the draft bill, Mr., gave his assurance that “as long as my name is, I won’t allow this to be passed.”
Article in The, July, 19
So what’s the plan?” asked Bowden as we drove towards the Welsh border town of Hay-on-Wye. It was about ten in the morning, and we were traveling in Bowden’s Welsh-built Griffin Sportina with Millon de Floss and Stig in the backseat. Behind us was a convoy of ten lorries, all loaded with banned Danish books.
“Well,” I said, “ever thought it odd that parliament just rolls over and does anything that Kaine asks?”
“I’ve given up with even trying to understand parliament,” said Bowden.
“They’re all sniveling toadies,” put in Millon.
“If you even need a government,” added Stig, “you are a life-form flawed beyond redemption.”
“I was confused, too,” I continued. “A government wholly agreeable to the worst excesses of Kaine could mean only one thing: some form of short-range mind control wielded by unscrupulous power brokers.”
“Now, that’s my kind of theory!” exclaimed Millon excitedly.
“I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then when I was up at Goliathopolis, I felt it myself. A sort of mind-numbing go-with-the-flow feeling, where I just wanted to follow the path of least resistance, no matter how pointless or wrong. I had seen its effect at the Evade the Question TV show, too—the front row was eating out of Kaine’s hand, no matter what he said.”
“So what’s the connection?”
“I felt it again in Mycroft’s lab. It was only when Landen made a sarcastic comment that it twigged. The Ovinator. We all thought the ‘ovi’ part of it was to do with eggs, but it’s not. Think ‘ovine.’ It’s to do with sheep. The Ovinator transmits subalpha brain waves that inhibit free will and instill sheeplike tendencies into the minds of anyone close by. It can be tuned to the user so he is unaffected; it’s possible that Goliath might have developed a long-range version called the Ovitron and an antiserum. Mycroft thinks he probably invented it to transmit public health messages, but he can’t remember. Goliath gets hold of it, Stricknene gives it to Kaine—bingo. Parliament does everything Kaine asks. The only reason Formby is still anti-Yorrick is because he refuses to go anywhere near him.”
There was silence in the car.
“What can we do about it?”
“Mycroft’s working on an Ovi-negator that should cancel it out, but our plans carry on as before. The Elan—and win the SuperHoop.”
“Even I’m finding this hard to believe,” murmured Millon, “and that’s a first for me.”
“How does it get us out of England?” asked Bowden.
I patted the briefcase that was sitting on my lap. “With the Ovinator on our side, no one will want to oppose us.”
“I’m not sure that’s morally acceptable,” said Bowden. “I mean, doesn’t that make us as bad as Kaine?”
“I think we should stop and talk this through,” added Millon. “It’s one thing making up stories about mind-control experiments but quite another actually using them.”
I opened the briefcase and switched the Ovinator on.
“Who’s with me to go to the Elan, guys?”
“Well, all right then,” conceded Bowden, “I guess I’m with you on this.”
“Millon?”
“I’ll do whatever Bowden does.”
“It really does work, doesn’t it?” observed Stig, giving a short, snorty cough. I chuckled slightly myself, too.
Getting through the English checkpoint at Clifford was even easier than I had imagined. I went ahead with the Ovinator in my briefcase and stood for some time at the border station, chatting to the duty guard and giving him and the small garrison a good soaking with Ovinator rays for half an hour before Bowden drove up with the ten trucks behind