• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

By Root 2885 0

metal sheet. The “book sandwich” was held together by rubber bands, and a string was attached to the metal sheet. Quasimodo tied the books to the grate, then retired down the conduit, paying out the string as he went. He joined Mimi at a little-used subgenre pipe entitled Squid Action/Adventure and waited for Thursday’s signal.

2. Mimi nodded to Quasimodo, who pulled the string. The steel plate shot out and Das Kapital and Mein Kampf came together, their conflicting ideologies starting to generate heat. The books turned brown, smoldered for a moment and then, as Mimi and Quasimodo scurried away up their retreat, the two volumes reached critical mass, turned white-hot and exploded. The detonation echoed down the footnoterphone pipes, followed by a deathly silence. They had done it. The footnoterphone conduit was destroyed—Libris and Tweed were cut off from Text Grand Central.

1. “Thursday! It’s Mimi, are you there?”

2. “They are rerouting messages through the auxiliary ducts past Spy Thrillers and through Horror. If you haven’t got a vote, get one now!”

1

“Oh, how I wish my worthless body would melt into a liquid and then evaporate.”

2

“Or that God had not decreed suicide a complete no-no.”

3

“Oh God, oh God! How tired, stale and boring life seems to me.”

4

“Oh, damn and double blast! I feel like a garden that’s been left to seed and has been overtaken by all those really annoying weeds, like Japanese knotweed or nettles, both of which can be destroyed by using a recommended herbicide, available from Jekyll Garden Centres.” Footnoterphone Simultaneous Translation sponsored by Jekyll Garden Centres.

1 “Goodness! Already?”

2 “This is really awkward. Jobsworth just called—he’s overjoyed that you’re taking Thursday and said that if we do a really good job, he would give Jurisfiction’s extra funding his special attention.”

3 “Bundles, old girl. Do this as a favor to old Bradders, eh? Just until the end of the day.”

1 ffffffgghuhfdffffffggggoooonpicUp…passs1cccccwwww.

2 kkkkkcar45kAR45%%%%%bloody hellfire!>>>>>>sodding jjjjjjjjjj Bureaucrats even out here+eeee.

3 jjjjjjjjahagssffffffssss-Is anyone out there? All I ddddddd can see is endless BLEEDING ocean-///////.

4 “Thursday! Great Scott, girl! Where are you?”

5 “Wouldn’t it be better to go via 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and hang a left at Robinson Crusoe?”

6 “Not good. Can you get up to the CofG straightaway?”

7 “Good luck, old girl. You’ll need it. Where are you now?”

8 “Not a thing. I’m under house arrest. You’re all alone on this one, Thursday. Best of British and all that.”

1 “Prego! Il Gatto del Cheshire.”

2 “Sorry—just practicing for my holidays in Brindisi this year. What can I do for you?”

3 “Sure. Say, did you order a Textual Sieve Lockdown on The Eyre Affair?”

4 “Well, you’ve got one. Mesh is set to ultrafine and timelocked—not even a period is going to get out of that book for at least twenty minutes.”

5 “No problems, Outlander amiga. Do you want me to keep you company?”

6 “Prego! Il Gatto del Cheshire.”