The Eyre Affair_ A Novel - Jasper Fforde [95]
Schitt looked at me coldly.
“Don’t try to threaten me, Miss Next. I could have you posted to the Lerwick Litera Tec office quicker than you can say ‘Swift.’ Remember that. You’re here because you’re good at what you do. Same reason as me. We are more alike than you think. Good-day, Miss Next.”
A quick search revealed eighty-four towns and villages in Wales named Penderyn. There were twice as many streets and the same number again of pubs, clubs and associations. It wasn’t surprising there were so many; Dic Penderyn had been executed in 1831 for wounding a soldier during the Merthyr riots—he was innocent and so became the first martyr of the Welsh rising and something of a figurehead for the republican struggle. Even if Goliath could infiltrate Wales, they wouldn’t know which Pen-deryn to start with. Clearly, this was going to take some time.
Tired, I left to go home. I picked up my car from the garage, where they had managed to replace the front axle, shoehorn in a new engine and repair the bullet holes, some of which had come perilously close. I rolled up at the Finis Hotel as a clipper-class airship droned slowly overhead. Dusk was just settling and the navigation lights on either side of the huge airship blinked languidly in the evening sky. It was an elegant sight, the ten propellers beating the air with a rhythmic hum; during the day an airship could eclipse the sun. I stepped inside the hotel. The Milton conference was over and Liz welcomed me now as a friend rather than as a guest.
“Good evening, Miss Next. All well?”
“Not really.” I smiled. “But thanks for asking.”
“Your dodo arrived this evening,” announced Liz. “He’s in kennel five. News travels fast; the Swindon Dodo Fanciers have been up already. They said he was a very rare Version one or something—they want you to call them.”
“He’s a 1.2,” I murmured absently. Dodos weren’t high on my list of priorities right now. I paused for a moment. Liz sensed my indecision.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Has, er, Mr. Parke-Laine called?”
“No. Were you expecting him to?”
“No—not really. If he calls, I’m in the Cheshire Cat if not my room. If you can’t find me, can you ask him to call again in half an hour?”
“Why don’t I just send a car to fetch him?”
“Oh God, is it that obvious?”
Liz nodded her head.
“He’s getting married.”
“But not to you?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Me too. Has anyone ever asked you to marry them?”
“Sure.”
“What did you say?”
“I said: ‘Ask me again when you get out.’ ”
“Did he?”
“No.”
I checked in with Pickwick, who seemed to have settled in well. He made excited plock plock noises when he saw me. Contradicting the theories of experts, dodos had turned out to be surprisingly intelligent and quite agile—the ungainly bird of common legend was quite wrong. I gave him some peanuts and smuggled him up to my room under a coat. It wasn’t that the kennels were dirty or anything; I just didn’t want him to be alone. I put his favorite rug in the bath to give him somewhere to roost and laid out some paper. I told him I’d move him to my mother’s the following day, then left him staring out of the window at the cars in the car park.
“Good evening, miss,” said the barman in the Cheshire Cat. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“Because there is a ‘B’ in ‘both’?”
“Very good. Half of Vorpal’s special, was it?”
“You must be kidding. Gin and tonic. A double.”
He smiled and turned to the optics.
“Police?”
“SpecOps.”
“Litera Tec?”
“Yup.”
I took my drink.
“I trained to be a LiteraTec,” he said wistfully. “Made it to cadetship.”
“What happened?”
“My girlfriend was a militant Marlovian. She converted some Will-Speak machines to quote from Tamburlaine and I was implicated when she was nabbed. And that was that. Not even the military would take me.”
“What’s your name?”
“Chris.”
“Thursday.”
We shook hands.
“I can only speak from experience, Chris, but I’ve been in the military and SpecOps and you should be thanking your girlfriend.”
“I do,” hastened Chris. “Every day. We’re married now and