The Faithless - Martina Cole [26]
Jonny Parker had already said as much and, in fairness to him, he had a point. Cynthia was a liability, and he knew that better than anyone. She had a trap that was dangerous, she never knew when to shut the fuck up. He also knew that if he didn’t sort her out then Jonny would have to make sure someone else did the dirty deed. They were all in it up to their necks, and he had no interest in being sidelined because his wife was a loose cannon.
‘We are on a seriously good earn if only you would see that. We get a percentage of everything, Cynth. Where else would we get that, eh?’
Cynthia laughed derisively as if he was a complete fool, then shouted angrily, ‘Oh, have a day off, James, will you, for fuck’s sake! You’re such a mug! We’re not earning fuck-all in comparison to that lot, you’re a fucking joke . . .’
‘Don’t, Cynth, not tonight, don’t start now . . .’
Cynthia was shaking her head slowly and deliberately as if she was in the presence of the greatest moron since Benny off Crossroads. But Jimmy shook his own head then, and she suddenly realised that she was pushing him too far. Looking at him now, his face contorted with anger, his heavy body taut with rage, she saw that her constant criticism had finally hit home. He looked menacing and dangerous; after all, he had had a good teacher and she forgot at times how his life had changed. He was playing with the big boys now and picking up their bad habits. He was looking at her with distrust, with an anger she didn’t know he possessed. He looked capable of anything, and she knew it was in her interests to leave it for a while. That she should temper her barbs, not make her anguish so plain.
After all these years she understood that she had finally pushed him too far. For the first time ever she actually felt afraid of the man she had married, felt the strength of him, saw the anger in his eyes. In fairness, she knew he was providing for them more than adequately, not that she would ever tell him that, of course. But that was not enough for her, would never be enough for her; she wanted what her sister had. The lion’s share was all she would ever be content with, was all she would ever accept. Even she admitted to herself that at times her jealousy got out of hand, but she couldn’t help the feeling that life was pissing on her from a great height. That seeing that mousy little sister of hers getting one over on her was all she could ever think about. She should have been the one to have achieved it; she had more brains and more savvy than Celeste would ever have. It was unfair, it was so unfair. Not that he would ever understand that, of course.
But as he looked at her now, disgust and dislike in his eyes, she knew they had somehow crossed a line. Never before had he fronted her up like this, it had always been the other way round. Something had given him some Dutch courage that he’d never previously had, and she had a suspicion what that something was.
‘You, calling me stupid?’ he said. ‘You, who wouldn’t know how to earn a crust if your life depended on it? You, who can’t even bloody get yourself together long enough to take care of your own kids! You dare to question me, and what I do for this so-called family?’
She didn’t answer him, didn’t know how to.
‘I fucking get up and go out twenty-four seven. And do you know what? That’s why Jonny looks after us, you stupid mare. He offers me a taste, a bit of what he’s doing and I am thrilled to take it. Because without him we’d be scratching a living, like we were before. So you had better wind your fucking neck in, shut your trap and be grateful for what you have got, instead of constantly harping on about what you think you should have. I’ve had it, Cynth. I’ve had you and your fucking wants till I’m dizzy.’
Cynthia looked at her husband in complete amazement; if someone had told her he would turn on her like this she would have laughed in their face. But she shouldn’t have been so shocked; she had watched him getting too