The Family Fang - Kevin Wilson [58]
“They make out with their siblings in front of a crowd of people?” Buster asked.
“They do things that are difficult in the service of their art,” Annie responded.
His parents loved the idea. When, over the loudspeaker, it was announced to the audience that the role of Romeo would be played by Buster Fang, his mother and father forced their way backstage, video camera in tow, and found Buster pacing in a circle, ill at ease in his tunic and stockings, rehearsing the lines he did not want to speak.
“Think of the subtext,” his father whispered to Buster, gripping him in a bear hug. “A play about forbidden love will now have the added layer of incest.”
Buster’s mother nodded. “It’s pretty brilliant,” she said.
Buster told them that no one cared about the subtext. “Mr. Delano is just desperate for someone who knows all of Romeo’s lines,” he said.
His father seemed to consider this statement for a few seconds. “Hell,” he replied. “I know all of Romeo’s lines.”
“Jesus, Dad,” Buster said. “No one is going to ask you to play Romeo.”
Mr. Fang held up his hands in surrender. “Well, I wasn’t suggesting that,” he said. He turned to his wife and said, “Can you imagine, though? That would really be incredible.”
Mrs. Fang again nodded. “It would be incredible,” she said.
“I really need to prepare,” Buster said, closing his eyes and hoping that, when he reopened them, his parents would be gone.
“We’ll see you at the cast party,” Mr. Fang said, “after you break a leg.”
“Caleb,” Mrs. Fang said, giggling. “You’re awful.”
Buster kept his eyes closed and began to spin in a tight, controlled circle, as if he was trying to fly away from the auditorium. When he opened his eyes, his parents were gone and Mr. Delano, his sister, and the school principal, Mr. Guess, were standing in front of him. “This is a problem,” Mr. Guess said. “What is?” Buster asked. “This,” Mr. Guess answered, pointing at Buster with one hand and Annie with the other, before bringing both of his hands together, fingers interlocked.
“Buster knows all of Romeo’s lines,” Mr. Delano said.
“Is the day so young?” Buster said and attempted to smile, as if trying to sell a defective product to a suddenly wise customer.
“Mr. Delano,” Mr. Guess continued, ignoring Buster, “are you familiar with the plot of this play?”
“I am, Joe, very much so.”
“Then you know that Romeo falls in love with Juliet, they kiss, they get married, have sex, and then kill themselves.”
“That’s a rather cursory—”
“Romeo and Juliet kiss, correct?” Mr. Guess asked.
“They do kiss,” Mr. Delano conceded.
“Mr. Delano,” Mr. Guess continued. “Are you aware of the fact that Buster and Annie are brother and sister?”
“Buster knows the lines, Joe. Without him, we don’t have a play.”
“O, I am fortune’s fool,” Buster said, desperately wanting to shut up without being able to do so.
“This is what’s going to happen, Mr. Delano,” Mr. Guess said. “We’ll do this play but in those moments when Romeo and Juliet are to undertake any kind of romantic interaction, these two kids need to scale back the romance. Instead of a kiss, they’ll shake hands or hug or something of that nature.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Annie said.
“That’s the deal, Ms. Fang.”
“It’s stupid,” Annie said.
“Henceforth, I never will be Romeo,” Buster said, and Annie slapped his shoulder in frustration.
“We’ll make it work, Joe,” Mr. Delano said.
“Never cared for tragedies,” Mr. Guess remarked. “Give me a comedy of errors or a historical play.”
As Mr. Guess walked away, Annie bit her thumb at the principal.
Keeping a safe distance from his sister backstage, Buster watched the brawl erupt between the two households, both alike in dignity. The swordplay was