The Fiery Cross - Diana Gabaldon [158]
The front door swung open and crashed into the wall beside me.
“Ye wretched auld besom! How dare ye to lay hands on my weans!”
I swung round to find myself nose-to-nose with Mrs. Chisholm, face flushed with fury and armed with a broom, two red-faced toddlers clinging to her skirts, their cheeks smeared with recent tears. She ignored me completely, her attention focused on Mrs. Bug, who stood in the hallway on my other side, bristling like a diminutive hedgehog.
“You and your precious weans!” Mrs. Bug cried indignantly. “Why, if ye cared a stitch for them, ye’d be raisin’ them proper and teachin’ them right from wrong, not leavin’ them to carouse about the hoose like Barbary apes, strewin’ wreck and ruin from attic to doorstep, and layin’ their sticky fingers on anything as isna nailed to the floor!”
“Now, Mrs. Bug, really, I’m sure they didn’t mean—” My attempt at peacemaking was drowned out by steam-whistle shrieks from all three Chisholms, Mrs. Chisholm’s being by far the loudest.
“Who are you, to be callin’ my bairns thieves, ye maundering auld nettercap!” The aggrieved mother waved the broom menacingly, moving from side to side as she tried to get at Mrs. Bug. I moved with her, hopping back and forth in an effort to stay between the two combatants.
“Mrs. Chisholm,” I said, raising a placating hand. “Margaret. Really, I’m sure that—”
“Who am I?” Mrs. Bug seemed to expand visibly, like rising dough. “Who am I? Why, I’m a God-fearin’ woman and a Christian soul! Who are you to be speakin’ to your elders and betters in such a way, you and your evil tribe a-traipsin’ the hills in rags and tatters, wi’out sae much as a pot to piss in?”
“Mrs. Bug!” I exclaimed, whirling round to her. “You mustn’t—”
Mrs. Chisholm didn’t bother trying to find a rejoinder to this, but instead lunged forward, broom at the ready. I flung my arms out to prevent her shoving past me; finding herself foiled in her attempt to swat Mrs. Bug, she instead began poking at her over my shoulder, jabbing wildly with the broom as she tried to skewer the older woman.
Mrs. Bug, obviously feeling herself safe behind the barricade of my person, was hopping up and down like a Ping-Pong ball, her small round face bright red with triumph and fury.
“Beggars!” she shouted, at the top of her lungs. “Tinkers! Gypsies!”
“Mrs. Chisholm! Mrs. Bug!” I pleaded, but neither paid the least attention.
“Kittock! Mislearnit pilsh!” bellowed Mrs. Chisholm, jabbing madly with her broom. The children shrieked and yowled, and Mrs. Chisholm—who was a rather buxom woman—trod heavily on my toe.
This came under the heading of more than enough, and I rounded on Mrs. Chisholm with fire in my eye. She shrank back, dropping the broom.
“Ha! Ye pert trull! You and—”
Mrs. Bug’s shrill cries behind me were suddenly silenced, and I whirled round again to see Brianna, who had evidently run round the house and come in through the kitchen, holding the diminutive Mrs. Bug well off the floor, one arm round her middle, the other hand firmly pressed across her mouth. Mrs. Bug’s tiny feet kicked wildly, her eyes bulging above the muffling hand. Bree rolled her eyes at me, and retreated through the kitchen door, carrying her captive.
I turned round to deal with Mrs. Chisholm, only to see the flick of her homespun gray skirt, disappearing hastily round the corner of the doorstep, a child’s wail receding like a distant siren. The broom lay at my feet. I picked it up, went into the surgery, and shut the door behind me.
I closed my eyes, hands braced on the empty counter. I felt a sudden, irrational urge to hit something—and did. I slammed my fist on the counter, pounded it again and again with the meaty side of my hand, but it was built so solidly that my blows made scarcely any sound, and I stopped, panting.
What on earth was the matter with me? Annoying as Mrs. Bug’s interference was, it was not critical. Neither was Mrs. Chisholm’s maternal pugnacity—she and her little fiends would be