The Fire in Ember - DiAnn Mills [78]
Once Evan returned from his visit to Fort Collins, John needed to apologize to him too. John had shaken his hand the morning he rode out with a feeble “I’m sorry” on his lips and remorse in his heart. But more needed to be done to make up for his jealous streak.
He’d like to release Bert from her debt. Frankly, he’d long since put aside why she owed him. Now she’d become his first thought in the morning, a sense of hope for the future. But her past … He was a fool just like Evan said, but for more reasons than John cared to list.
A fool.
He loved her, but he wished he didn’t.
A fool.
The cattle rustlers had successfully gotten away with stolen livestock, making him and Bob look bad.
A fool.
Leon had been killed because the posse thought he’d shot John.
A fool.
Ted’s murder lay unsolved.
Bert as good as stated that those behind the crimes were not to be reckoned with. John could feel the evil in his bones. He should be spending time prying information from her, not dwelling on this strange attraction. At times he questioned if he had any control over his feelings at all.
The same accusations repeated—
A fool.
He loved her, but he wished he didn’t.
He wanted to ask God for help, but why should God lend a hand when John hadn’t listened in the past?
Leah led her sorrel mare from the barn, saddled and ready to ride. John and Mark rode with her. She preferred to have John alone to encourage him to talk. She had surmised enough to know the problem existed between him, Evan, and Ember. Hearts were often shattered and feelings often hurt by words spoken in vain.
Evan had returned from Fort Collins full of enthusiasm, his mind opened to life beyond the 5T and Rocky Falls. He loved every square inch of the school and had taken the entrance exams. They would send a letter informing him of his acceptance or denial of his application. Her entire household sensed Evan’s anxiety.
Racer pranced, always in the mood to run — or other things—as she reined her mare away from the magnificent stallion. Mark rode a gelding. No trouble there. But this adventurous son much preferred a stallion of his own. He’d be taking a ride soon on the open range to catch a mustang as wild as the streak running through him. His love for the outdoors reminded her that this son was her mustang. Mercy, however would she keep her impulsive son in a bit and bridle?
“Won’t be long before Evan leaves for school,” Mark said, climbing onto the saddle. “Then it’s more chores for the rest of us.”
Leah stiffened. “I just want him to receive his acceptance letter.”
“Now, Mama, Evan’s so smart he makes the rest of us look like mules.”
“He’ll be here on holidays and during the summer.” No sooner than Leah had spoken the words than she peered at John for a reaction. He looked troubled. Trying to get that boy to talk was like trying to get water out of a dry well.
“I’m going to miss having him around,” John said. “And I realize this is just the beginning of each of us going our own way. Rankles me a bit, and I should be happy for him, but I know it’s the way of families.”
“You’ve got me.” Mark laughed. “I’ll be here to help until you kick me off the ranch—or when I’m eighteen and have a homestead of my own. But I agree. Evan is a good brother.”
The three rode out along the St. Vrain River and on toward the foothills. Leah urged her mare beside John. “Make sure Evan knows how you feel.”
“He does,” John said. “I want so much for him. Almost makes me hurt.”
“Did that come before or after you two went to wrestling in the dirt?” Mark said from behind them.
Calm down and listen or you’ll never learn a thing.
“We didn’t wrestle in the dirt.” John turned in the saddle and glared at his brother. “And thank you for letting Mama know about it.”
Mark laughed. “No matter. You two talked about whatever got you riled up.”