The Freedom Writers Diary - Erin Gruwell [109]
Ms. G’s class, a camp experience with my church, and my parents’ continued encouragement helped me to see the mess I was making of my life.
I cannot believe that just a couple of years ago that was my life. Not only was I screwing up my brain but also my relationship with my friends and family. My mind-set was unbelievable. Now getting high is something I don’t even think about. I would much rather be with my friends or working out. I am so pumped that people who care about me saw my potential and never gave up.
I have been working hard in school and in the gym to be ready for football at the college level. I went from an F to the second-highest A in all the chemistry classes my senior year. I know I have what it takes and I am going to do what it takes to make my next goal, a college degree and an NFL career!
Diary 132
Dear Diary,
It’s amazing how life works in mysterious ways. My day started out with incredible news, but ended in tragic defeat. It went from a huge high to a huge low. In the morning, a major league team picked me in the first round to play professional baseball, and in the evening, my baseball team had to play in the semifinal round of the championship. This game would be my last chance to show how hard our team had worked all year. But it was hard to concentrate on the game because people from the stands were congratulating me about getting drafted. All this attention shoved unwanted pressure in my direction.
Unfortunately, the game ended in disappointment. My team lost, and just like that, my high school baseball career is over. It’s hard to take because I’ve played with these guys since I was in Little League. We’ve gone through a lot together, including two Little League World Series.
Still, the question of my baseball future is undecided. I have so much pressure to deal with. I can’t believe that at seventeen years old I have to make a decision that will dramatically affect the rest of my life. I recently signed a letter of intent to play baseball at a prestigious college. They’re offering me a full-ride scholarship. On the one hand, I know college could be one of the greatest times of my life, but on the other, starting my professional baseball career early could help me reach my goals sooner. I understand the demanding schedule of minor league baseball, but I also realize that I might not get a second chance to sign if I go to college.
Ms. Gruwell’s been really understanding with this whole process, because her dad played baseball and she understands the game. She said my choice is almost Shakespearean. So the question remains: To sign or not to sign?
Diary 133
Dear Diary,
Last night I got the greatest news of my life! I found out I got accepted to UCLA, the only school I ever wanted to go to. Yet my joy about the situation seemed to upset a few people at school today. When I told people in my AP Government class, a class that is predominantly white, with one black person besides myself and two Latinos, instead of congratulating me, they immediately asked “What’s your GPA? What did you get on your SATs?” As if to imply that I didn’t deserve my acceptance. One girl simply lost her mind. She began to yell about how unfair it was that I got in and she didn’t. It didn’t stop there. She began telling other people that I didn’t deserve it, and that I only got in because of my race. Which made her look more stupid than she was trying to make me out to be, because everyone knows that Prop 209 went into effect this year and our class was the first to be affected by “anti-Affirmative Action” laws. This I heard from a friend of mine who is not a Freedom Writer.
She told me about many of the other people who were upset because I got in and they didn’t, people who don’t even know me. She also told me not to worry