The Freedom Writers Diary - Erin Gruwell [115]
I graduated from outpatient after ten months. They sent me off two months early because I worked my program so well. Things were a lot different when I came home. Therapy brought me back together with my family, and we were getting along great. I had my freedom now, and it was because I earned it this time. There was new sense of appreciation for the outside world now. It was such a great feeling to pick what I wanted to eat instead of eating what was put in front of me, but to sit here and say it was easy being back home would be a bold-faced lie. We moved to a new house to give me a fresh start. I went to a new high school, too. I saw a lot of my old friends, but I found we had just grown into different people. That wasn’t the life I wanted. There was a lot of pressure at school, so I had to surround myself with good people. And I went to support groups. And that brings us up to now.
Like I said, I can’t sleep tonight. Don’t get the wrong idea—Kleenex is about the only thing I put near my nose these days. It’s because I’m graduating tomorrow. I never thought I would make it, but I did. I’m not just graduating, though. I’m going to get some awards, too. I kept up my overall GPA above a 3.5 all four years. I even got a 4.0 one semester. I also made the honor roll and got an award for taking extra classes. In twelve hours I’ll be in my cap and gown getting ready to walk, and the minutes can’t go any slower.
Not only is school great, but a lot of other things have taken a turn for the better. I got a job soon after leaving rehab and have been working real hard. Two months ago I got an even better one and I have been working full-time. Just last week I got a brand new truck for graduation. I’m making the payments on it myself. I’m going to need it, because I’m starting college in the fall. Oh yeah, I put a little meat on my bones, got some color in my skin, and those pimples even went away. Yes, I’d definitely say things are looking up. It has been a bumpy ride these last four years, but I found out that there is something better to live for than drugs…me.
Diary 141
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow is the big day. I am graduating from high school. I have proven to everyone that I would graduate on time with everyone else in my class. Very few people believed that I would graduate. I proved to the nonbelievers that they were wrong.
From the day I was born I have lived with hardships that most people couldn’t even bear. At birth I was not expected to survive past my first birthday. It took four months before doctors diagnosed me with cystic fibrosis. Most CF patients succumb to death before the age of thirty. Here I am eighteen years later knowing that I will graduate tomorrow. I just can’t wait to see the look on my mom’s face as I walk down the aisle and receive my diploma. My mom is the person who’s supported me every step of the way.
The last few years have been truly tough on me and my family. Knowing that my health was deteriorating every day took its toll on my mother. My sophomore year was the first time I had actually struggled in school. I had two sinus surgeries and missed ten of the first twelve weeks of school. I would try to keep up by going to school once a week to pick up work. Some of the Freedom Writers would take time to help me if Ms. G couldn’t. They always seem concerned about me. I continued to fall behind in school, so that left only one option: I had to enroll in home school. I thought that would help me and lessen the stress in my life, but it didn’t. The tutor that was assigned to me was very intelligent, but not very reliable. I became my own teacher for the next two years. Even though I was in home school, I would still try to participate in Freedom Writer events. I met Zlata and went to the Museum of Tolerance. Due to my fragile health, I couldn’t go to Washington, D.C. One thing that was good is that I was always welcomed at school