The Freedom Writers Diary - Erin Gruwell [66]
Dear Diary,
Today we were given another damn story to edit. When I was handed this story, I just thought, “Oh wow, another story to edit. Gee, this is great! I wish I could do this every day.” When I started to read the story, all of a sudden everything hit me: “I sat on the operating table, shivering…my stomach flipped as I lay back and placed my feet in the stirrups.” How was I so lucky to get a story about abortion? It was my secret come to haunt me once again. It was as if my subconscious was speaking to me about everything that I kept penned up inside of me.
This story was so graphic and depressing, describing details I never thought about before. I wonder if my girlfriend went through all the things that the girl went through in the story. She wrote about how a counselor walked in and took her hand. “If you need to, just squeeze my hand,” she said and held her tightly. I wonder if my girlfriend had anyone there to support her. It makes me sad that I wasn’t there to hold her hand. Was it lonely and bleak in the office? She said, “I wanted to erase this place from my mind.” Did she have all those terrible thoughts going through her head? How could they make these places so dark and dreary? It has to kill the girls inside to even step into the office, because she wrote, “With the death of my unborn child, part of me died.”
I wish my girlfriend had told me all these things. It would have been so much easier to know that she was pregnant in the first place. I suspected she was, but before I knew the facts, she had an abortion. Even though the decision was up to her and she knew that I would support her no matter what she chose to do, I just wish that I knew beforehand so I could have at least gone with her.
Now that I’m sitting in class thinking about what she went through, all I can say is that I’m glad we’re still together. And as always, what didn’t push us apart brought us closer. With something like this, I will always look back and wonder what would have happened if we kept it? Where would I be now? All there is in life is questions and temporary solutions, and even though this was a major solution—it will always stir up questions.
When I finished reading the story, I didn’t feel so alone. Somebody in my class shares my secret. I actually wrote her an anonymous note and simply said, “I feel your pain—you’re not alone!”
Diary 74
Dear Diary,
My mom always told me that “one person can make a difference that can change the whole world.” It sounds unbelievable to me that one person can be a catalyst for such a change. She also told me that when she was young, during the sixties, there were many men and women that made significant changes that affected her life, as well as the world around her. Rosa Parks was one of those incredible people that changed the world.
Rosa Parks is an African American woman who was living in the segregated South. One day she was coming home from a hard day’s work and had to ride the bus. At that time African Americans were not allowed to sit in the front of the bus, and when the front section filled up, they had to give up their seats in the back to white passengers. Most people don’t know that Rosa Parks actually sat in the black section in the back of the bus that day. When the white section filled up and the bus driver ordered her to stand, she refused. No one had ever challenged that racist practice before, but she was tired, her feet hurt, and she just didn’t feel like getting up. Even though she was a law-abiding citizen, she felt so strongly that she should be able to sit that she refused to move from her seat and was then arrested.
Her bold action astonished many people. They believed that if this small, lone African American woman could take such a courageous stand, then they could, too. Many people believed she had done nothing wrong, so they started to boycott the buses. No one rode the buses for weeks. Rosa Parks opened the door for one of the most famous boycotts of our time and introduced the struggle for civil rights. I can see from this one person’s act that