The Freedom Writers Diary - Erin Gruwell [88]
They Say, I Say
They say I am brown
I say
I am proud.
They say I only know how to cook
I say
I know how to write a book
So
don’t judge me by the way I look
They say I am brown
I say
I am proud
They say I’m not the future of this nation
I say
Stop giving me discrimination
Instead
I’m gonna use my education
to help build the human nation.
I can’t wait to read it to the class tomorrow.
Diary 104
Dear Diary,
Ms. G made us do an oral report in front of the class about what we wanted to be. Her plan was to get us thinking about our careers in the future. We filled out cards with all kinds of information about our first and second choice of careers. I went through three to four cards, with my first choice changing every time. As much as I’d changed cards, my second choice remained the same.
So the time came when it was finally my turn to stand in front of the class and talk about my future. As soon as I got up there, I started talking about my dream to be a filmmaker and make movies. I went on and on about my dream but then I added, “but realistically I would like to be a…” Ms. G automatically butted in when she noticed me disregarding my dream. “What do you mean ‘realistically’? Why don’t you go for what you love? Follow your dream.” Then it sunk in. I can do this. I want to make real films that will impact people in their everyday lives.
I’m in the same position as some as my favorite filmmakers like Richard Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, who had people doubt them because of where they came from. Before today, if I told people I wanted to be a filmmaker, they thought I was insane and would suggest a career that was more “realistic” for a poor Latino kid like me. Luckily, Ms. G. and the Freedom Writers don’t see being poor and Latino as an obstacle to becoming a filmmaker. They believe I can achieve my dream. And with their support, I know I can.
Diary 105
Dear Diary,
Historians say history repeats itself, but in my case I have managed to break the cycle because I’m going to graduate from high school and go to college, an opportunity my parents never had. My father only went up to the second grade because his father, my grandfather, needed help farming and taking care of the cattle. In the two years he spent in elementary school he was not taught to read and write. His teacher instead sent all of the “poor kids” to play outside or to work in the garden. He saw kids like my dad as working hands. This was and still is common in the rural areas of Mexico.
My mother only went up to the sixth grade because it was not the custom for a woman to get an education. Her dreams of becoming an accountant were shattered after my great-grand-mother did not let her go to high school. Instead she was sent to sewing classes, so she could become a “true woman” and not suffer when she got married.
Because of their educational experience, my parents were extra hard on me. When I was four years old my parents made me practice writing my name, numbers, and made me memorize the colors. As I grew older they made me read every day, do all my homework, and little by little, this became part of my daily life. While other kids spent their afternoons playing outside, I would be inside my house studying or reading a book.
Now Ms. G. is cracking down on me too. Since the beginning of the year Ms. G has been talking about how to get into college and what different colleges are like. The thought of going to college scared me. But, Ms. G recognized our fears and planned a field trip to visit different colleges. We started our day by going to National University. There we learned about financial aid, college life, and the process of getting into college. After spending half the day at National, we went to visit a small private college and a big university so we could experience how different they were.
After the trip, I decided that I would go to a community college because the campus and the classes are smaller and more manageable than a large university, you get to