The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [134]
Spring
Quirk Theory’s Origins: Why These Issues Are Hardest in School
Chapter 10
CHANGING PERCEPTIONS
DANIELLE, ILLINOIS | THE LONER
Danielle remained unenthusiastic about her challenge. The girl who had no trouble careening down black diamonds and who had just plunged into below-freezing water with her mother for a charity event, was scared, especially to talk to the students she referred to as “supernerds.” (She later remarked, “People freak me out more than potentially life-threatening activities.”)
Danielle liked what she called “my little bubble where I don’t have to talk to anyone or feel compelled to do anything that someone else wants me to do.” Her creative writing teacher had described “building a fortress around your heart and shooting down anyone who tries to climb it.” Danielle identified strongly with that metaphor. “I don’t really trust anyone, so the idea of trying to be friends with them is really unappealing,” she explained. “I don’t like feeling responsible for relationships, which is probably why all of mine suck. And I’m kind of worried that no one else will really get me like my friends now do. They all make fun of me for doing things like spontaneously laughing in class because I remembered something funny from earlier, or just being completely random, but they at least accept it and think it’s funny, while other people might think it’s really weird. Also the idea of having to talk is not something I’m happy about.”
Nevertheless, she had accepted the challenge, which she termed “Operation Outcast,” because, she said, “I’m not happy being so secluded, either. I don’t want to be someone with a million friends, but I don’t want to be so uncomfortable talking to people. I hope to be able to not be so completely socially awkward. It’s embarrassing that I can’t even keep the most basic of conversations going, and that will inevitably hurt me later on. I don’t want to be like people my age, because I like being different, but I should be able to talk to them. Making friends is a skill that I’ll most likely need, and I can’t relate to people older than me forever. (They’re going to die eventually.)”
Furthermore, National Honor Society elections were coming up, and Danielle hoped to run for Webmaster. Having honed her HTML skills on MySpace since eighth grade, she assumed that she would be good at updating the Web site. In order to run for the position, however, she would have to do some minor campaigning. Which meant she would have to talk to people.
Danielle wasn’t sure how to chat in class, when teachers’ lectures took up entire periods. She didn’t talk to students between classes because the atmosphere was so chaotic that she feared saying something unimportant would seem pathetic. As she put it, “I hate saying things that are stupid and don’t need to be said, so I usually won’t say anything if I don’t have to.”
But she tried. Over the next week, Danielle managed to ask a supernerd a question about a homework assignment. In government, she discussed a test with a classmate. In math, she talked to Camille’s preppy friend Trish, who sat in front of her. At a reading committee meeting, she asked another outcast why, after the one meeting Danielle had missed, Blindness had suddenly disappeared from the list.
In creative writing, she sat next to a student she knew from the school literary magazine, for which she had devoted time to evaluating student submissions. The guy was both weird and well-liked; he was an excellent writer, painter, and gymnast. They talked about food and pop.
In late March, Danielle decided to get a job to earn money for college and for the long list of books she wanted to buy. Her first stop was Dairy Queen. As a teenager, Danielle’s mother had worked at McDonald’s for several years, which had helped her to get over her own fear of people. Danielle hoped that a fast-food job would help her too. Plus, she was a big fan of ice cream,