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In early July, Danielle’s mother and stepfather had Logan’s family over for dinner. Danielle and Logan spent most of the night talking to each other. They discovered they both were big fans of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, the BBC, and Shark Week. Danielle told Logan about the hate club. Logan listened sympathetically and said that seventh grade was her worst year too.

Later that week, Logan invited Danielle to join her and her friends for Logan’s birthday. The group went out for pizza, played laser tag, then went to Logan’s house to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the Wii. Danielle was one of the last people to leave.

The next day, Logan texted Danielle to tell her how much she loved the soundtrack Danielle had given her for her birthday. When they discussed soundtracks they liked, Logan suggested a music swap. Danielle brought her laptop to Logan’s house to trade songs. In Logan’s bedroom, pictures of several fish species dotted walls blanketed in fish wallpaper. A basket full of shells lay on a hutch above Logan’s desk, beneath a small plastic shark.

Danielle noticed a book lying on Logan’s desk: Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto. As she and Logan copied each other’s soundtracks, they discovered they shared other tastes: Riverdance, a random song they both loved in childhood, the movie The Swan Princess. A pile of books towered next to a full bookshelf, which was smaller than Danielle’s, but still impressive. They talked about Logan’s books as Danielle fingered the spines. The Snows of Kilimanjaro—Danielle wanted to read that collection. The Count of Monte Cristo, one of Danielle’s favorites. . . Danielle stopped short. There, on Logan’s shelf, was Blindness.

Danielle wished they had started hanging out before Logan had graduated from Stone Mill. She realized she had more in common with Logan, whom she’d known for only a few months, than with any of her other friends, some of whom she’d known for more than a decade. Danielle was quietly overcome by a wondrous, heartwarming feeling because even though Logan would be leaving for college in a month, Danielle realized that she had finally made a new, true friend.

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31 TIPS FOR STUDENTS, PARENTS, TEACHERS, AND SCHOOLS

When we left off with the Robbers Cave experiment in chapter 8, by the end of two weeks, relations between the Eagles and the Rattlers were so hostile that they were fistfighting. But the fake summer camp didn’t end after two weeks. During the third week, Muzafer Sherif reversed the experiment, devising collaborative activities that required the participation of both groups. The boys were tasked with fixing the camp’s drinking water pump and cooperating to push a stalled food truck up a hill, for example, and they were told they could go to a movie only if both groups pooled their funds. As the boys worked together, they gradually ceased the name-calling and the fighting. They began to intermingle at meals. They cooked campout food together, by choice. By the end of the week, the boys were singing together. The groups requested to share a bus back home; during a stop on the way, the Rattlers bought malted milks for all of the boys in both groups. Sherif called the turnaround “dramatic” and “striking to all observers.”

The Robbers Cave experiment illustrates that even groups of people who believe each other to be despised enemies can overcome severe us-versus-them prejudice and rancor to the point of genuine camaraderie. The experiment, which has been replicated elsewhere, shows us that, even for today’s students stuck within or outside of seemingly unyielding group boundaries, there is hope that perceptions can be altered.

Hope abides for another reason too. Early on in our work, Whitney said, “I would love to know what an emo or a wannabe thought about cliques and if they had the same pressures as me.” Sure enough, without my ever having to ask, one by one, students of various labels voiced laments similar to something