The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [69]
“Hey, are you coming camping with us?” he asked Blue. Blue hadn’t done anything with Arwing since the group had edged him out.
“Yeahhh, no,” Blue said.
“You drive me crazy sometimes,” Pakaki said. “I know me and you never agreed on anything and your views are different, but without you the club is different. Herman doesn’t really do anything. He’s not like you.”
No kidding, Blue thought. “Really, now,” he said, leaning casually against the door frame.
Pakaki looked sheepish. “You know, we’re planning this event against other schools. It’s a lot like what you wanted to do. We could really use your help.”
Blue had heard about this event, an interschool Madden tournament that wasn’t remotely like the LAN party Blue had planned. “I’ll think about it,” he said.
“Wait—” Pakaki called out before Blue could leave. “Are you mad at me or something? You seem different.”
“No, I’m fine. Seriously. See you,” said Blue, who walked out of the room feeling as if he’d had a conversation with a junior high ex. He wasn’t going camping.
With one week left to go in the quarter, Blue still hadn’t begun his makeup work. He tried, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had learned that his mother couldn’t force him into the military without his consent. But he was now paralyzed by her constant reminders that he wouldn’t graduate if he didn’t pass every class.
He had IMed Jackson to ask for motivation. Jackson hadn’t been nice to him lately, going so far as to tell Blue that he was naïve about Nate, that Nate was a jerk, even though Blue was still infatuated with him. Instead of motivating Blue, Jackson forgot to meet him when he said he would, laughed when Arwing members broke Blue’s drumset, and generally drifted into Blue’s life only when he needed something. Often this involved gaming. Blue’s gaming team expected him to play in Modern Warfare 2 tournaments every day over Christmas weekend. He barely ever saw his friends in person anymore and he learned that they criticized his gaming skills behind his back.
Blue’s days grew monotonous. After school he went to the mall alone, where he played one game of DrumMania before going home. Gaming was one of the few things that made him feel better about his life. He relished having control over a world, even if it wasn’t his own. “I lack determination towards school because I’ve been feeling hopeless,” he explained. “So instead I turn to things like video games, like ‘Let’s see if we can do this right.’ And then I do and I feel better.”
On days when he did manage to finish his homework, Blue felt he had accomplished a noteworthy feat. The next day, he would come home ready to complete his new assignments straightaway, but then his mother would yell at him for something or other, crushing his eagerness to be on task. So tonight, like many recent nights, with his homework unfinished and his motivation shot, instead of staying up late to work, he went skating. Back and forth, back and forth. His mind cleared, glazing over his troubles to languidly ponder more positive things. Gaming. Manga. Cars. By the time he reached the bottom of the hill, he would be able to go to sleep.
After school the next day, Blue walked into his guidance counselor’s office, bracing himself for news that he might not graduate. The AP Language class structure confused him. The teacher assigned a few practice AP essays each week, and gave one test at the end of the quarter. She had told the students she expected them to take notes on her lectures, which Blue hadn’t done because he hadn’t seen his classmates taking notes. He got As on most of the essays, then learned they didn’t count toward his grade. He was shocked when one day the teacher asked to see the students’ notebooks, and everyone else produced pages apparently written at home.
“What’s up?” the counselor said.
“Uh, I think I failed AP Lang.”
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Well, I asked to be transferred into normal lang last quarter.” He told her why he didn’t like the AP class.
“Okay . . .”
“So what happens