The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [92]
The morning after Kendra’s party, Giselle’s father called Whitney’s house looking for his daughter. Giselle had told him that she was staying at Whitney’s. Whitney was furious that Giselle had used her house as a cover for an all-night party that Whitney wasn’t even invited to. She Facebook-messaged Giselle that she was a terrible, worthless person. When Giselle called Whitney’s house, crying hysterically, Whitney’s mother picked up the phone. Giselle told her what had happened.
After they hung up, Whitney’s mother came into her room. “Whitney, you need to stop being so mean if you’re going to make any friends in college,” she said. “You need to be nice to people or you’re going to end up very lonely. Wish for your happiness, not the unhappiness of others.” Whitney stared at her blankly, even though she knew her mother was right.
WHITNEY’S CHALLENGE
Whitney was certain that without the preps, she would have no one. I wasn’t so sure. She was gregarious and energetic, and I thought perhaps she could use her interpersonal skills for good. She wanted to be open-minded and meet new people, but as a prep she felt constrained from doing so.
When I told Whitney that I wanted her to participate in an experiment, she was immediately game. I asked her to attempt to de-clique herself and become a floater, breaking out of the prep group to mingle with various other—and, according to the preps, lesser—groups of students. Furthermore, I said that she could not be mean to any students for the rest of the school year.
Whitney was eager to get started. I got the sense that she was the most enthusiastic of the characters to embark on a challenge because it gave her a legitimate excuse to escape the grip of populars who mistreated her and others. Whitney was most excited to get to know the punks.
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FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE: ONLINE CAFETERIAS
“One thing that really emphasized how unpopular I am was when I was on Facebook,” an Indiana senior told me. “I had just gotten a new account and there were some people I was hesitant to friend. I decided to send friend requests in case I ever needed to contact them for a project. More than one deleted the post saying they had friended me. It was a slap in the face. I know I’m not popular, but am I that socially devastating to be associated with?”
According to the 2010 Pew Internet & American Life Project national report, 73 percent of online teens and 82 percent of wired fourteen-to-seventeen-year-olds use social networking sites, a quickly rising population that increased by nearly 20 percent in three years. Between PTA panic and headlines in the popular press, sites such as Facebook and MySpace have drawn ire for sending unwary kids straight into the cyberclutches of predators. But studies of social network sites (SNS) reveal that most kids aren’t going online to meet strangers. They are spending time on these sites in order to connect with the people they already know. According to Pew, more than 90 percent of teens who visit SNS say they use them to maintain their current friendships and nearly three-quarters use them to make plans with friends.
Social media researcher Danah Boyd has pointed out that social network sites could be considered mainstream gathering spaces. After World War II, companies began marketing directly to teens, resulting in public arenas—dance halls, roller rinks, bowling alleys—where they could socialize unchaperoned. These venues have largely disappeared; SNS have filled the void. “By allowing youth to hang out amongst their friends and classmates, social network sites are providing teens with a space to work out identity and status, make sense of cultural cues, and negotiate public life,” Boyd wrote.
In this sense, SNS can serve the same function as the cafeteria, a place