The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [118]
27
Dangerfield turned up the gas flame and rubbed his hands at three o'clock on this gray Friday afternoon. He took a bottle of gin from the pouch of the crumpled kangaroo. From the bed the stricken voice of MacDoon.
"What in God's pukka name have you got there, Danger?"
"E. Just e. Holy water. A little fast blessing for all of us. Parnell, wake up. Up I say. MacDoon for God's sake see if he's dead in there. Don't want to smell up the room with corpses."
Parnell wreathed in bandages stirs, looks out from under the covers and goes in again.
"Danger, come over here with that."
"O I had this neatly tucked away in the bedlam. Looting is part of the battle. You think now MacDoon that this is going to be a time of richness. Do you think that now. Or that from over there the motor birds are bringing me an egg. Big. Big. Nothing like that land of the big big rich."
"Danger, Listen to me. I want you to know your friends will stand by you during delivery of egg. Never let it be said I deserted in an hour of wealth."
"Mac, I think a bit of the Algeria for a breather. We destroyed the city of London in one mighty blow."
"I'd say however, there was a bit of the counter attack somewhere."
"There was that. Mac, one of these days I'm going to tell you the story of how I joined the Legion of Mary. The things of the inner struggle. Intestinal and other things. But got to spruce up. First little bit of the Parnell's peanut butter. Nothing like the nut butter. O I've had the speedy trip to the broker with the ungreased pram. I've had the pride. You wouldn't believe it Mac but at one time I wouldn't stoop to the pram greased or ungreased. Or live on woman's earnings. But through all this, the battering, shell shock, detours and even falling into the minor traps of Egbert Skully, I've come through with part of the inner man still there. Onward you crazy Christian soldiers. Just call me Major Dangerfield"
"Major bring me the bottle"
"And Mac only once. Once, mind you, have I ever had the ignominy. I'll take all the rest but not the igno."
"Danger, let nothing more be said to spoil or foul the beauty you have released into this room. Give us the bottle"
"Parnell. Up out of the covers. I've a request to make. Would you ever now have a clean shirt for my urgent appointment at five which demands I present myself without stains of blood or battle."
"A shirt in my closet there I wore in the nick"
"The very thing."
"Behind the door. The only dignified thing I possess these days."
"O handsome shirt. The cut is everything. Some day, Parnell, we must hear more of this nick. B. Berry maintains three years in the Borstal good as four at Harrow. What have these British prisons?"
"Ten years lose some of the advantages."
"Inclined to believe that a bit long even for the Ph. D. O I say, rather fine shirt this. How do I look? I think it suits me. Now a little something for under the pits. Must have something for the pits. Must be no odor of body."
"Danger go out in the hall and slip in the second door on the left. Landlady's bedroom. Might be a little something for the pits."
Dangerfield returns.
"Very nice. I've always been partial to the fragrance as opposed to the unfragrant."
MacDoon propped and prostrate on the bed.
"Danger do I see a woman of blackberry stained lips, raven hair and haughty teeth? Do I?"
"Gentlemen, in due time. In due time there will be an announcement"
He stepped out in the cold twilight along this road with the triangular park. Nice room Parnell has in this pleasant street Now any one of these houses would do for me. Mary wash the windows and sweep out the path and make me ould porridge of a morning. Import sausages from the Pembroke Road in the Dub. She's stuck by me. Trusted