The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [135]
"Come closer, Percy. Listen. One night I was walking behind a lovely young girl with long golden hair and my heart beating with desire. She turned around and I saw her face. She was an old toothless hag."
"Jesus, Sebastian, here's another fiver"
"Percy, I'll use it to buy meself a set of silk undergarments."
And as Dangerfield was coolly leaving the party, the butler came running after him bearing brandy and bacon. A bottle and a side. How can you beat them? bottle and a side. How can you beat "Mary, isn't this good of him?"
"You're a terrible man."
"They've left me holding the bag. Thank you."
"Not at all, sir. The master was charmed by your little speech."
"Eee."
"I have a taxi for you, sir. I liked that very much, about Judas being British. Ha, it's very good. Merry fraud, sir."
"O. Aye."
"You're a terrible man, Sebastian"
"Merry fraud."
Entering the taxi. And standing at the door, MacDoon next to Clocklan. MacDoon eating an eclair. Clocklan's hand engages with a haunch of nurse. His other with a cigar. And from the windows I see some of the elderly and the face of that blonde American girl. I think she must be crying. Are they all weeping in there? O taxi man, away, away, away like a devil shooting between the stars. And don't be making stops for traffic either.
Mary you're beside me now. And I want to ride on the train to Dublin, along the cliffs and through the tunnels to Bray. When it's raining. You've got tiny ears. And I'll take you to live in a house out Tooting Bee way with Clocklan's quids near by for quick reference. I'll buy a little mower to take outside to the lawn and give it a fast trim every Friday. not much of a lawn because I don't want to overdo this exercise. Ten by ten. We'll have a small sitting room with plants one of which will be a rubber plant And during tea on gray afternoons I want you to read me stories of adventure.
"Why aren't you like this more often, cuddly and cozy and things?"
"I've just been thinking of a little house for us"
"And babies?"
"Oaye."
"You'll give me a baby? I'd like to have one"
"I'm not father proud but that's one of the things I know I can do, Mary. I'm your man"
"And we'll make one tomorrow on Christmas Day?"
"It's Christmas now, Mary"
"No. I want you to come to me. I've got a grill. And four eggs too. And we can have the champagne and brandy after"
"I'm a shit, Mary"
"No you're not."
"Touch of meanness in me."
"I've got a present for you."
"I've nothing for you."
"You've got what I want"
"Mary, really."
"And we'll have a baby"
"Aye."
"And you won't tie my towel in knots again?"
"No knots ever again."
"You look lovely in your suit and your hat and cane. That American girl was after you too, wasn't she?"
"Just wanted a brother in a foreign land. When you're Yank, Mary, only other Yanks are friends."
"She didn't mean anything she said. She was just after your dong. But it's mine."
"For sure, Mary."
Crossing Earl's Court and down the West Cromwell Road. Up over the bridge and the wasteland of train tracks. Out there in the buildings I see dim lights on. Old brains slumbering. And on the roofs the chimney pots are awful twisted things. One of them with a fan squeaks in the Bovir Road. O for God's sake let me feel your pretty little breast, Mary. Let me feel it. Let me touch it. Saint Anthony guide. My hand. You're an awful man, Sebastian but you'll not get me hot. I know your tricks.
"Tell me what my present is, Mary."
"I bought you a pair of woolly slippers."
"Lovely, what color?"
"Brown so they won't show the dirt"
"I'll wear them tomorrow."
"And I've got new underwear and perfume called Jungle Desire and you'll think I'm an animal or something."
"I'll bring me drums, Mary."
A kiss goodbye. And back to the Bovir Road and up the stairs. Where I always feel I'm going to get a bust in the head from some prowler. Violence