The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [90]
Sebastian entered Jury's by the side door. Seated in a far corner, half obscured by a palm leaf, sat the retired Duke. Before him on the table, a brandy glass.
"For God's sake, Kenneth."
"It's you."
"Ah Kenneth yes, I see."
"You see an utterly broken man. I'm going to drink this till I'm stinko."
"Wisest words you've ever spoken."
"I'm finished."
"Tell me what's happened."
Dangerfield settling himself comfortably in these wicker chairs, folding his hand to hear like father confessor, this red-bearded man's tale.
"I gave myself up."
"What?"
"I went to the consulate and told them to ship me back."
"Surely you're not serious, Kenneth."
"Ship sails tomorrow night. It's in Alexander Basin right now. Sick man and I'm taking his place. Lady Eclair was a dead loss. As soon as I got out there I knew it was no go. Could feel it in my bones. Too good to be true. She took one look at me and almost had a fit. And I almost went right off my rock. I just said to her give me thirty shillings and I'd get out because she was driving me nuts."
"Do relax, Kenneth. Now how did this happen?"
"She thought I was French. Never gave me a chance to get started and my foreign accent just went to pieces, I sounded as if I had just got off the boat from U.S.A. What could I do? In a situation like that there's no point in prolonging the misery. Neither of us were getting anywhere so I just said give me thirty shillings for my expenses in Dublin and coming out and I'll leave. So I left, that's it"
"Cheer up now. Let's see a little smile. Every cloud, you know"
"I'm sick of people. The less I have to do with them for the rest of my life the better. I don't care if I die."
"Nonsense now. Where have you been staying?"
"And that's another thing. I'm staying with Malarkey and my Christ was that depressing. Do you know what's happened?"
"What?"
"Clocklan committed suicide."
"Jesus."
"When I left you Monday I went to Tony's to stay. I didn't sleep because I kept hearing knocks on the window, then I heard a fight on the steps. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I wanted to get a night's sleep so I'd be at my best for my interview. Now I could have been beating my brains out all night against the wall for all that mattered. God it's weird. Then about a quarter to ten we see this uniform coming down the steps. We open the door and it's a policeman and he asks does a Tony Malarkey live here. We were all going to say no just on principle when Tony screams from one of the back tunnels for his tea and the policeman says is that Mr. Malarkey? Tony comes to the door and the policeman asks him if he knew a man by the name of Percy Clocklan and Tony said remotely. Then the policeman said he had a message addressed to him at this address, to a Mr. Tony Malarkey, which was picked up by some people on Portmarnock Strand. He said the message was found in a Power's whiskey bottle which was washed up on the beach. Then the policeman reaches into his breast pocket—we're all watching the whole proceedings from behind the door—and he takes out a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to Tony. I think Tony went a little white. Then the policeman asks him if he knows anything about it and Tony said he didn't know a thing except that Clocklan left for England about a week ago and hadn't heard a thing since. The policeman asks if he were depressed before he left and Tony said he couldn't notice because he was drunk all the time and the policeman says he was just checking up and that if they got any word on anything he would let Tony know. Tony came in the door and stood there and says it's that bastard Clocklan, he jumped off the mail boat and if he thinks I'm going to waste my time claiming his body he's mad"
"Blessed Oliver intercede for us all."
"Tony didn't seem to give a damn but I felt rotten. He just went on saying that if Clocklan wanted to commit suicide why did he have to get sentimental and send him notes. The note said he was fed up and