The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [96]
"A dozen of the very finest please.'
I think they are coming along very well in this shop. New counter and glass and I notice a clean fingernail here and there.
Sebastian hurried up the Geary Road and with two acute lefts into his cul-de-sac. Walking towards a wall. Searching on the green gate for latches. What did these neighbors do? Light on in that house. What were they doing with their bodies? Toasting in front of the last coals. Tomorrow I go bye bye. O'Keefe on the high seas. And Miss Frost, I see a peak of light coming round your curtain. Bad for security but it'll do for this last day. Only hours left. I'm coming in the house to hold your hand and spend my last night with you. I want to take you with me but I can't. Would you be willing to put your shoulder to the big wheel? Push. I'll show you how. You've been good to me like none of the others and kept me company in this last loneliness, might have gone quite mad were it not for your body and sweet smiles and breasts. Saved me. Even the little secret smells in the pits of your arms. Like bears in winter lairs. Nuzzling the short hairs.
He walked around the side of the house. Looking at the laurels. Dark round here. Get this light on. Miss Frost keeps a clean kitchen. Into her room.
"Please don't get up, Lilly, leave this to me."
"Let me. You're tired. It's no trouble at all, Mr. Danger-field."
"On this last night, Lilly, do call me Sebastian."
"I just can't. Don't make me, but come sit down. I'll make it. You have such a long journey ahead."
"Aye. It's very good of you. May I look in your book, Lilly?"
"It's one of those awful things."
"Lilly I'm terribly chilled, that walk I think has given me a little a-choo, my nose is stuffed. I wonder could I just get into your nice warm bed here ? "
"But we really shouldn't anymore."
"Just till I get my teeth into the rashers and eggs."
"You have an awful way with you, Mr. Dangerfield."
"It's your hot water bottle, I just can't keep away from it."
She left him sitting on his chair. And he took his garments off. Shoes neatly beside the bed. Winds outside. Keep telling myself they are temperate, moist and warm. Spend my life huddled over a weather map. Guest in Lilly's cozy bed. Pretty name. What made me do it? Call her white and pure. Virgin. Driven snow. And I'm sneaking between these sheets, deep down after the bottle, catch it, hook it, pull it up here near my balls and wait for her. When I'm in London I think I'll join the Trinity College Dining Club. I read the soothing words which said the Dining Club exists to promote mutual intercourse and good fellowship among T.C.D. men, to provide an opportunity for renewing old friendships and keep Trinity men in touch with the life of the University. I keep telling myself that I'm one of you because I never want to lose faith. Something to hang on to. And I'll come along in the evenings and sit with you. I will be reserved and listen. To those things dear to me. I hope it's raining. And step out of my carriage, suck down a few lungs of fat fog. Wearing my Trinity tie. What a handsome tie it is. Most illustrious of all. I say, Trinity? Why yes. You? Yes. Forty-eight. Forty-six and any other year you want to name. How do you do, I'm Dangerfield. Jolly good show, this. Quite. In fact, bung, frightfully ho. Will there be chandeliers? Chicken? Sprouts? Fire? And will this be what I want? Please.
Lilly came in with tea. The long red strips across the plate and the two yolks glistening. And buttered bread. A light green napkin. She puts it down.
"Lilly."
"O you'll make me spill it."
"Just a little one. On the lips. There."
"It'll scald you if I drop it."
Just my cup of tea. You are.
"Lilly, this is very good of you. I need this, this warmth and food. I sometimes wonder if there is an island a little smaller than this one where we could go."
"It would be nice."
"Lilly, you've been packing your bags."
"Yes."
"This is all a pitiful life. I want to settle somewhere. Stay there for good. Fm sick of moving. We must have somewhere to call our