The Girl in the Flammable Skirt_ Stories - Aimee Bender [51]
I think we should eat it all, I stated. He moved closer to me. I’m full, he said. Keep eating, I said.
But Penny, it tastes just like regular sugar, he whispered into my ear.
Sshh, I murmured back, touching my shoulder to his, scooping up a new pile of grains into my hand. Don’t tell.
THE GIRL IN THE
FLAMMABLE SKIRT
When I came home from school for lunch my father was wearing a backpack made of stone.
Take that off, I told him, that’s far too heavy for you.
So he gave it to me.
It was solid rock. And dense, pushed out to its limit, gray and cold to the touch. Even the little zipper handle was made of stone and weighed a ton. I hunched over from the bulk and couldn’t sit down because it didn’t work with chairs very well so I stood, bent, in a corner, while my father whistled, wheeling about the house, relaxed and light and lovely now.
What’s in this? I said, but he didn’t hear me, he was changing channels.
I went into the TV room.
What’s in this? I asked. This is so heavy. Why is it stone? Where did you get it?
He looked up at me. It’s this thing I own, he said.
Can’t we just put it down somewhere, I asked, can’t we just sit it in the corner?
No, he said, this backpack must be worn. That’s the law.
I squatted on the floor to even out the weight. What law? I asked. I never heard of this law before.
Trust me, he said, I know what I’m talking about. He did a few shoulder rolls and turned to look at me. Aren’t you supposed to be in school? he asked.
I slogged back to school with it on and smushed myself and the backpack into a desk and the teacher sat down beside me while the other kids were doing their math.
It’s so heavy, I said, everything feels very heavy right now.
She brought me a Kleenex.
I’m not crying, I told her.
I know, she said, touching my wrist. I just wanted to show you something light.
Here’s something I picked up:
Two rats are hanging out in a labyrinth.
One rat is holding his belly. Man, he says, I am in so much pain. I ate all those sweet little sugar piles they gave us and now I have a bump on my stomach the size of my head. He turns on his side and shows the other rat the bulge.
The other rat nods sympathetically. Ow, she says.
The first rat cocks his head and squints a little. Hey, he says, did you eat that sweet stuff too?
The second rat nods.
The first rat twitches his nose. I don’t get it, he says, look at you. You look robust and aglow, you don’t look sick at all, you look bump-free and gorgeous, you look swinging and sleek. You look plain great! And you say you ate it too?
The second rat nods again.
Then how did you stay so fine? asks the first rat, touching his distended belly with a tiny claw.
I didn’t, says the second rat. I’m the dog.
My hands were sweating. I wiped them flat on my thighs.
Then, ahem, I cleared my throat in front of my father. He looked up from his salad. I love you more than salt, I said.
He seemed touched, but he was a heart attack man and had given up salt two years before. It didn’t mean that much to him, this ranking of mine. In fact, “Bland is a state of mind” was a favorite motto of his these days. Maybe you should give it up too, he said. No more french fries.
But I didn’t have the heart attack, I said. Remember? That was you.
In addition to his weak heart my father also has weak legs so he uses a wheelchair to get around. He asked me to sit in a chair with him once, to try it out for a day.
But my chair doesn’t have wheels, I told him. My chair just sits here.
That’s true, he said, doing wheelies around the living room, that makes me feel really swift.
I sat in the chair for an entire afternoon. I started to get jittery. I started to do that thing I do with my hands, that knocking-on-wood thing. I was knocking against the chair leg for at least an hour, protecting the world that way, superhero me, saving the world from all my horrible and dangerous thoughts when my dad glared at me.
Stop that knocking! he said. That is really annoying.
I have to go to the bathroom, I said, glued to my seat.
Go right ahead, he said, what