The Good Book_ A Secular Bible - A. C. Grayling [36]
16. ‘But this is even more evident in the case of humanity: first, in the affection between children and parents, an affection which only shocking wickedness can sunder;
17. ‘Next, when the passion of love has attained mutual strength, on our finding someone with whose character and nature we are in full sympathy,
18. ‘Because we think that we perceive in him the beacon-light of what we cherish or admire, respect or like.
19. ‘For nothing inspires love, nothing conciliates affection, like the answering chord of what we see is good.
20. ‘Why, in a certain sense we may be said to feel affection even for people we have never seen, owing to their reputation for honesty and virtue.
21. ‘If the attraction of probity is so great that we can love it not only in those we have never seen,
22. ‘But even in an enemy we respect, we need not be surprised if affections are roused when they meet goodness in those with whom intimacy is possible.’
Chapter 5
1. ‘I do not deny that affection is strengthened by the receipt of benefits, Fannius, as well as by the perception of a wish to render service,
2. ‘But when these are added to the original impulse of the heart, a great warmth of feeling springs up.
3. ‘And if anyone thinks that this comes from a sense of weakness, based on a need for help or security,
4. ‘All I can say is that he who thinks so gives friendship an origin very base, and an ignoble pedigree.
5. ‘For if this were the case, a man’s inclination to friendship would be exactly proportional to his low opinion of his own resources. Whereas the truth is quite the other way.
6. ‘For when a man’s confidence in himself is greatest, when he is so fortified by virtue and wisdom as to want nothing and to feel absolutely self-dependent,
7. ‘It is then that he is most conspicuous for seeking out and keeping up friendships.
8. ‘Did Scipio, for example, want anything of me? Not the least in the world! Neither did I of him.
9. ‘In my case it was an admiration of his virtue, in his case it was perhaps the opinion he entertained of my character, that caused our affection.
10. ‘Closer intimacy added to the warmth of our feelings. But though many great advantages ensued, they were not the source of our affection.
11. ‘For as we are not beneficent and liberal with a view to receiving gratitude, and do not regard kindness as an investment, but follow a natural inclination to liberality;
12. ‘So we looked on friendship as worth seeking, not for ulterior gain, but in the conviction that what it had to give was from first to last included in the feeling itself.
13. ‘When once people have found a friend, their aim is to be on the same footing in regard to affection, and be more inclined to do a good service than to ask a return.’
Chapter 6
1. ‘Scipio and I frequently discussed friendship. He used to say that the most difficult thing in the world was for a friendship to remain unimpaired to the end of life:
2. ‘So many things might intervene, as for example conflicting interests, differences of opinion in politics,
3. ‘Frequent changes in character, whether owing to misfortunes or to advancing years.
4. ‘He used to illustrate these facts from the analogy of childhood, since the warmest affections between children are often laid aside with their toys;
5. ‘And even if they managed to keep friendships into adolescence, they were sometimes broken by a rivalry in courtship,
6. ‘Or for some other advantage to which their mutual claims were incompatible.
7. ‘Even if the friendship was prolonged beyond that time, yet it frequently received a shock should the two happen to be competitors for office.
8. ‘For while the most fatal blow to friendship in the majority of cases was the lust of money,
9. ‘In the case of the best people it was rivalry for office and reputation,
10. ‘By which it had often happened that the most violent enmity had arisen between the closest friends.
11. ‘Again, wide and justifiable breaches were caused by an immoral