The Good Terrorist - Doris May Lessing [36]
“Alice handled them. A marvel, she is,” said Pat, but not as friendlily as she would have if the two girls had not come in and split allegiances.
Ruined everything, Alice thought bitterly, surprising herself. A moment before she had been thinking: Here am I, fussing about a house, when they are doing something serious.
“Oh well,” said Faye, dismissing the police’s visit to the house as unimportant compared with the really big issues, “I’m off to sleep, if we are going to get up early tomorrow.”
The two women stood up. Roberta was looking at Philip, who still sat there, apart, as if waiting. “You staying here tonight?” she asked, and Philip looked at Alice. She said, “I’ve told Philip he can live here.” She heard the appeal in her voice, knew she had her look, knew she might simply break down and weep.
Roberta’s body had subtly changed, hardened, looked affronted, though she made sure her face was impartial. Philip seemed as if he were sustaining invisible blows.
Roberta looked at Bert, eyebrows raised. Bert’s gaze back was noncommittal: he was not going to take sides. Again Alice thought, He’s not up to much! He’s no good.
Alice looked at Pat, and saw something there that might save the position. Pat was waiting for Bert; yes, something had been said, discussed, when she was not there. A decision?
Pat said, since Bert did not, “Philip, Alice can’t make decisions as an individual. Alice, you know that! We’ve got to have a real discussion.” Here she glanced at Jim, who at once said, “I was here before any of you, this was my house.” He sounded wild, was wild, dangerous, all his smiling amiability gone. “I said to you, come in, this is Liberty Hall, I said.” Here was a point of principle. Alice recognised it. She thought: “It’s Jim who will save Philip!” Jim was going on, “And then I hear, ‘You’ve got to leave here, this is not your place!’ How come? I don’t get it.”
Roberta and Faye stood up. Roberta said, “We should call a real meeting and discuss it, properly.”
Philip stood up. He said, “I’ve been working here for two days. The fifty pounds wouldn’t pay for the cable I’ve used.”
Alice looked wildly at Jasper. Who was waiting on Bert. Who smiled calmly, white teeth and red lips glistening in the black beard.
Pat stood up. She said curtly, disappointed in Bert, “I see no reason at all why Philip shouldn’t stay. Why shouldn’t he? And Jim was here before any of us. Well, I’m going to bed. If we go to the picket tomorrow, then we should be up by eight at the latest.”
“I’m coming to the picket,” said Philip.
Alice drew in her breath, and stopped a wail. She said, “I’ll have the money. I’ll have it by tomorrow night.”
Philip gave a little disappointed laugh. “Maybe,” he said. “And that isn’t the point. If I was going to take my stand on money, then I wouldn’t be here at all.”
“Of course not,” said Pat. “Well, let’s all go down tomorrow.” She yawned and stretched energetically and sensually, with a look at Bert, who responded by getting up and putting his arm round her.
Oh no, thought Alice, not again.
Roberta and Faye went out, holding hands. Good night. Good night.
Bert and Pat went out, close.
Jasper went out after them; and Alice heard him run noisily up the stairs.
Alice said to Philip, and to Jim, “It’ll be all right.”
Philip said, “But you can’t say it is, not as an individual.”
“No,” said Jim. He had lost his wild anger. Was his sane, smiling self. But Alice thought: If we throw him out, he’s going to come back one night and wreck the place. Or something like that. She was surprised that the others hadn’t seen this, felt it.
Philip said to Alice, taking a stand where, she knew, he had often made himself do it before, “I won’t be working here tomorrow, I’m going with the others. After all, the fight against the capitalists is more important than our comfort.” No pay, no work! He walked out and could be heard pounding up the stairs.
Jim went without saying good night and took refuge in his room. There began the sound of his drums, soft, emotional, like a threat.
Alice was alone. She went around the