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Through this one example we readily see that the power of mathematical analysis is a necessary component of any complete religious education and makes the case that greater mathematical content be added to the religion curriculum. This is necessary because the practice of religious study requires the communication of complex ideals with intricate interactions. Religious dialogue requires that we discuss and share the nature of infinite love and the infinite universe. In doing so it simply is not possible to share the full spectrum of the sacred without the language of mathematics.

Put simply, it is self-evident that the nature of religious dialogue has all the hallmarks of a hidden Grand Design. The intense and complicated interactions of nearly all human thought hide an underlying intelligence that can only be explained by the presence of an intrinsic, hidden mathematical structure.

A Teleological Argument

London W. Rabern

DEPARTMENT OF MATHEMATICS

UC SANTA BARBARA

PROPOSITION 1. The universe exhibits too much structure to have evolved by chance.

CONCLUSION 1. There was a creator.

PROPOSITION 2. All things are subject to the passage of time.

CONCLUSION 2. The processes of the universe were in action over the time period in which it was created.

PROPOSITION 3. Nothing, not even a God, can know the exact outcome of a situation in the universe. Moreover, the uncertainty increases with the time elapsed since the parameters of the situation were known.

CONCLUSION 3. If the creator wished to make the universe precisely as he pleased, then he would need to do it rapidly.

PROPOSITION 4. Any being that would create a universe for his pleasure is an egotistical maniac.

CONCLUSION 4. The creator was an egotistical maniac.

CONCLUSION 5. Since an egotistical maniac would want things done his way, he must have, by C3, made the universe extremely rapidly; in fact, as rapidly as possible.

PROPOSITION 5. If a creator could affect more points of space simultaneously, then he could create the structure in the universe more rapidly.

CONCLUSION 6. A creator with more appendages than another could have created the universe more rapidly.

CONCLUSION 7. Since, by C5, the creator made the universe as rapidly as possible, he has as many appendages as possible.

PROPOSITION 6. The universe is discrete.

CONCLUSION 8. There is a minimal thickness to the appendages of a creator.

CONCLUSION 9. A creator with thinner appendages can have more of them.

CONCLUSION 10. By C7 and C9, the creator had as many appendages as possible, all of minimal thickness.

CONCLUSION 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Proof of Proposition 3:

PROPOSITION 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.

PROPOSITION 8. There is no pleasure to be drawn from us if we do not have free will.

CONCLUSION 12. We have free will.

PROPOSITION 9. If the universe was predetermined, then we would not have free will.

CONCLUSION 13. The universe is not predetermined.

PROPOSITION 10. The creator set up the initial conditions of the universe.

CONCLUSION 14. By C13, there is uncertainty in the unfolding of the universe.

CONCLUSION 15. As uncertainty on top of uncertainty brings even more uncertainty, as time passes, the level of uncertainty increases.

CONCLUSION 16. Proposition 3 is true.

RAmen.

Of Penguins and Pasta

Toby Leonard with editing by Jason Braunwarth

HISTORIAN, SCHOLAR, AND ALL -AROUND SWELL GUY

There is irrevocable proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) created the world. Some people point to selective fossil evidence and then use fuzzy interpolation to explain gaps in the fossil record, some use fictitious supreme beings, and others claim some Intelligent Designer created everything. I have factual proof that on every continent all that was created was touched by His Noodly Appendage. Others point to esoteric folklore to explain “their God,” but the FSM has touched every continent and every culture, leaving His mark with His Noodly Appendage. To clarify this overwhelming preponderance of evidence I shall break this down by