The Great Derangement - Matt Taibbi [96]
CHENEY: We all have our hobbies, Larry.
SILVERSTEIN: Well, naturally, you have my assent. Anything to grease the wheels of international capitalism. Also, as a landlord, I love seeing my tenants burned to death and jumping out of high windows on live television and that sort of thing. Plus, I’m a Jew, you know, I have horns. Paul, how’s your family?
WOLFOWITZ: Oh, Larry, don’t ask. Clare just last week popped her bursa sac building a sukkah. But does anyone live a life without troubles these days?
SILVERSTEIN: Things just keep getting worse and worse, you’re right there. Listen, fellas, about that building complex…
CHENEY: Yes?
SILVERSTEIN: Do you think you could make sure that the WTC 7 building goes down, too? See, the thing is, I just signed a new insurance deal with Industrial Risk Insurers; this could all work out very nicely for me.
CHENEY: Larry, it’s such an amazing coincidence, we were just talking about that. As it happens, we need to destroy the building to get rid of the evidence anyway. So say no more about that, we’ll take care of it.
WOLFOWITZ: Well, say no more until it happens. Then you might just want to casually mention near a PBS camera that you’re planning on “pulling” the building.
SILVERSTEIN: What does “pulling” mean?
CHENEY: Well, it’s not a demolition term, but some will say it is. We’re thinking you might just want to make a little admission in that direction.
SILVERSTEIN: Before my insurance investigation is concluded? At exactly the time when such an admission would cost me my entire settlement? Consider it done!
ALL: Thanks, Larry.
SILVERSTEIN: You bet, fellas! See you on the links. Mazel tov! Oh, hey, Paul…
WOLFOWITZ: Yes?
SILVERSTEIN: Pull my finger, Paul! Pull it!
WOLFOWITZ: You bet I’ll “pull it,” you mensch!
SILVERSTEIN: Later! (Silverstein hangs up.)
CHENEY: Well, that worked out well. I guess the only things left to really worry about are the other two planes. What do you guys think?
KRISTOL: Well, one plane. I’m thinking with the Pentagon, we send a missile or a drone into the building, then just tell everyone it’s a plane. Just to fuck with people.
FEITH: Is this going to be one of your basic take-the-real-plane-to-a-remote-military-base, kill-the-passengers, then-fake-their-cell-phone-distress-calls-using-advanced-voice-recog-technology deals?
KRISTOL: That’s what I’m thinking. Keep it simple, in other words.
WOLFOWITZ: Now I’m confused. We hire patsies to fly into the World Trade Center, but for the Pentagon, we don’t use patsies?
CHENEY: No. We use patsies, but just not to fly the plane. See, the patsies we choose for the Pentagon job won’t actually have enough piloting skill to maneuver a plane into the Pentagon. So what we’ll do is take a real passenger flight, hijack it, and take it to a remote location—say, Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio—and then kill all the passengers on board, including the patsies, with poison gas.*3 Then, instead of using that plane, we’ll either shoot a missile or use one of those Global Hawk drone planes to crash into the Pentagon. Then we tell everyone that it was actually the missing plane that crashed into the Pentagon.
WOLFOWITZ: Why don’t we just get patsies who can fly a plane? Isn’t that what we’re doing in New York?
CHENEY: It’s so hard to find skilled patsies these days.
KRISTOL: Plus, Paul, it’ll be simple. All we have to do is go to the crash site afterward and deposit pieces of airplane wreckage, landing gear and so on, at the appropriate places.
CHENEY: That’s perfect. I know exactly where we can get some airplane wreckage, too. There was an American Airlines jet that crashed in Colombia in 1995; we can take pieces of that plane and just sort of drop them on the lawn when no one is looking.†4 You know, just like in The Great Escape—drop them through a pantleg while whistling and looking off into the distance, and just sort of kick them around in the burning