The Haj - Leon Uris [156]
And my brothers probably had secrets too, for they often spoke in little clumps, always speculating how they stood within the various alliances.
Everyone’s secrets formed a tender balance of unspoken blackmail.
If there was a problem that could only be solved by Father, it was usually up to me to approach him as the spokesman on everyone’s behalf. I would wait until I sensed Ibrahim was in a favorable mood and then slip alongside him at the machine gun post.
Sometimes we would sit for an hour before speaking, I always cautious not to break his meditation. By some gesture, he would recognize my presence.
‘I smell the Bedouin,’ Ibrahim said, as though speaking aloud to himself. ‘It is wise that we have two men out in the forward position at night, with one of them constantly on patrol.’
Our leisurely existence was being strained by such an arrangement. I waited for Father to ramble on.
‘I will continue to remain here day and night,’ Ibrahim said. ‘In case they pick off our forward post, I must protect the women.’
‘It is an excellent idea, Father.’
‘It is not an excellent idea. In truth we have no protection, save Allah’s will,’ he said.
It was a long time before I opened my mouth again. ‘I speak only after serious consideration.’
‘Consideration leads to thoughtful conclusion.’
‘We are very happy and content here,’ I said. ‘But after living here for several months, certain inconsistencies we did not foresee slowly become apparent.’
‘You speak words that hint of several possibilities,’ Ibrahim said.
‘I speak of defense,’ I said, but hastily added, ‘We could find another subject to discuss.’
‘Yes, we could discuss something else,’ my father said, ‘and continue on until nightfall, but after that we would have no choice but to return to the first subject.’
‘It is not up to me to observe the qualities of our men when we have you as our leader,’ I said.
‘But there may be several truths about the same situation,’ my father said, ‘depending on the circumstances.’
‘Our circumstances have created certain mathematical imbalances,’ I said.
‘What could they possibly be?’ my father said.
‘So far, we have had a comfortable situation in rotating the tasks of the men—standing guard, going to Jericho and the springs, and setting traps and gathering firewood and working on the cistern. It has worked ingeniously ... until now.’
‘You mention an imbalance?’
‘Two extra guards at night, patrolling close to the sea. Forgive me, Father. When I am speaking, I often forget myself and honesty overcomes me. Kamal is useless as a night guard down there. Omar is questionable. That leaves Sabri, Jamil, and me.’
‘You, the youngest, are making judgments on your brothers?’
‘I beg you not to be harsh on the honesty that overcame me. I know I am only repeating what you already know.’
‘Having stripped me of my prerogatives. ...’
‘Oh no, Father. We are naked without you. But sometimes even the Prophet needed a reminder.’
‘What you have observed offers various aspects I perhaps should be reminded of.’
‘Kamal will fare better at night in Fatima’s loving arms,’ I said. ‘I have seen him run in the face of danger.’
‘Where?’
‘In Jaffa. When he was left to defend the women, he fled. Fortunately, nothing happened to the women.’
‘I suspected Kamal. It is sad to hear.’
‘If he is down there by the sea at night, we might as well send Absalom or the goat. At least they will make a loud noise.’
‘And Omar?’
‘Omar’s failings are certainly not a lack of courage,’ I said quickly. ‘Just stupidity. He cannot maneuver in the dark alone. I have taken the guard with him twice down there and spent the night looking for him until dawn.’
‘Jamil, Sabri?’
‘They are excellent.’
‘I did not know you thought so much of Jamil.’
‘He is my brother. I love him.’
‘But so are Kamal and Omar.’
‘I have come to appreciate Jamil’s qualities. He is eager to fight.’
‘I will consider what you have said and perhaps leave it up to the three of you to stand the outer night