The Haj - Leon Uris [255]
Conversation between Nada and Joxe was trivial and jovial. She let her eyes do most of the talking. Perhaps Bernard Joxe did not realize the risk of stalking a young Arab Moslem virgin girl. Perhaps he did. He had a lovely boyish grin and winning mannerisms, and he wore his passionate nature close to the surface. The game was on.
Nada’s dreams became sweeter by the night.
A whole world centered around the accidental meeting, and touch began to dominate her thoughts. Both of them put a great deal of planning into where, when, and how to just happen to run into each other. Her eyes made him shiver. The flush at suddenly coming around a corner into one another, the brushing past, his eyes riveted on her backside as she swayed by, his bashful stuttering as he tried to speak ...
Nada lay on her mat at night and felt her body and pantomimed holding him. Then: You are a foolish girl. Bernard Joxe is a selfish, ambitious young man who slobbers fearfully over his boss. He comes from a world that is utterly strange. He must have loved many girls and will love many more. I can be no more than a passing fancy.
Well, what do you want, Nada? Eternal love in a hovel in Aqbat Jabar? Can you even have that? You will take what Haj Ibrahim gives you. How lovely will that be?
What do you crave, Nada? You know it. You are away from Ibrahim’s eyes. You have the place, the time, the young man drooling. Shall I? Shall I not? Shall I ... her heart banged in her chest ... shall I?
I will not do it fearfully. I’ll do it either freely and wildly or not at all. I am not bringing shame in with me.
Shall I?
Nada had more freedom than the other woman servants. She began to take her showers at a time when the yard was empty and when she knew Bernard Joxe was in his apartment. A bit of maneuvering and she could expose a wet arm or leg in that part of the yard that was not hidden. She knew instinctively when he was watching, and she grew bolder.
One day she stepped from the shower naked and dried herself, luxuriating in the sun in full view of the upper apartment. She stared up at it and held her eyes on it for a long time.
‘You are driving me crazy,’ Bernard Joxe whined.
‘Well?’ Nada answered.
‘It is very dangerous, you know that,’ he said.
‘Well?’ she repeated.
‘For God’s sake, what do you want me to do?’
‘What do you want to do?’
He emitted a horrendous sigh, flopped his arms, and hung his head. She did not take her eyes from him. He swallowed. Nada touched his cheek and pressed her body against his shirt so he could feel the softness of her large lovely breasts. He wrapped his arms about her, closed his eyes, and groaned with happiness. The kiss was sweet.
‘I like that,’ she said excitedly.
‘I want it to stop right here. I must be honorable. You are not letting me be honorable,’ he muttered.
‘Tell me, Bernard, have you made love with many women?’
‘It is a ridiculous question.’
‘It is not. I want a man to take me who knows what he is doing and who is tender.’
‘Nada, do you really understand how complex this is?’
‘Yes.’
‘I ... I ... there can be no question of ... well ... hurting you. We cannot fall in love. I have my career, my parents to think of. A scandal would be disastrous.’
‘Don’t you want to do it with me?’
‘Of course I do, but ...’
‘Bernard, I want absolutely nothing from you but your tenderness and a little time together. I want to have a beautiful time. If you will be patient, I will learn very quickly. You do not have to worry that you will break my heart or that I will make problems for you.’
‘Why, Nada, why?’
‘It is a long story, Bernard, but I must know love and I will not be a little girl about it.’
He twitched about nervously.
‘You are kind and concerned and I like that,’ Nada said. ‘Let us be lovers and I will flit away when it is time.’
‘Don’t look at me, Nada. You destroy me when you look at me. Don’t press against me that way.
She spun away from him ‘I think I’ll take a shower,’ she said, walking off.
‘Nada!’
‘Yes?’
‘The Othmans