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By Root 1173 0

to live longer; it will no longer be so focused on living longer. That is just how it is. Culture changes. For a while, one way we dealt with mortality was to fixate on getting a statue of yourself put up somewhere after you died. We don’t even think about statues anymore, not like that. Right now, it’s all longevity. Later, it will be something else. The changing cultural concerns of future generations will lead them to different kinds of scientific questions and answers, and those will lead to different advice. The only way to make progress is to get your head out of your century and look around. If we remember the history lessons I have pointed to in this book, it is possible that we can make some modest sour-charm gains. The idea is not to abandon the search for happiness but to be suspicious of the same old ways of thinking about it. We should scientifically attack the question with glee and abandon, take our results lightly, and not get seduced into feeling shame or guilt over what we are not managing to do in the service of our own happiness.

The reason we cannot do everything we want to do in order to be happy is that the three kinds of happiness conflict with one another. If you are working hard, you are not relaxing; both are good goals, and you need a chart to know when to do each. Most of us just use the standard method of the forty-hour work week and the calendar of holidays and vacations. But think of all the other happiness acts that are in conflict and for which we have no standard schedule. You may want cake and a lean body; but at any given moment, which one of these should you be seeking? As I see it, this realization is almost enough to start making decisions that feel more informed, more processed through the intellect. But it is a good idea to think about how you want to apportion your three kinds of happiness.

It seems worth the effort to make a few lists of things you can do to make yourself happy and try to sort them. Consider a version of the three main categories of happiness. The following lists are of course meant for adults, and we each have to avoid some activities because they don’t work well for our safety or our relationships:

Good-Day Happiness

What Makes a Happy Day for You?

Seeing friends

Chatting with neighbors

Eating chocolate cake

Having a few drinks

Playing with your kids

Reading a good book

Waking early for a relaxing morning

Taking a walk

Playing a game

Solving a puzzle

Playing a sport

Taking care of someone sweet

Shopping

Bathing

Getting a massage

Having sex

Working with your hands

Watching entertainment

Cooking

Euphoria

How Do You Get Euphoria?

Great sex

Music

Meditation

Drugs

Crowd celebration

Dance

Dangerous sports

Art

A Happy Life

What Do You Need to Have, or Be Working Toward, in Order to Like Your Life?

Family

Friendships

Celebrations and rituals

Travel

Study

Skills mastered

Money in the bank

Community service

An attractive appearance

Adventure

Serving as an inspiration

A history of a lot of good days

A history of some euphoria

These lists will vary a great deal from person to person, but if you have an idea of what your lists look like, you can have some idea of how you might want to make changes—either in what you do or in how you think about it.

Don’t overschedule. Most people can manage to attend maybe one parade a year. If you try for both a Thanksgiving Day parade and a Halloween parade, it is likely that for one of them, you or your spouse or child will not be feeling good, or it will be cold and rainy, or something else will get in your way. But if you try for both every year, most years you will get to at least one. It is tedious to arrive early for Fourth of July fireworks, and get a good spot, and wait; and if you have to drive there, it will be tedious to get out of the parking lot afterward. But while you are there you get to feel the vibrations of the noise, maybe listen to the broadcast of American music over the radio, and see something exceedingly beautiful and strange with your fellows. Everyone will say