The Haunted - Jessica Verday [84]
Caspian swallowed and looked around him. “Is it hot in here? I think it’s warm in here.”
“You can’t feel anything unless I’m next to you.”
“True, but words like that can make anyone overheat.” Blushing again, I turned from him and changed the subject. “Do you think they’ll mind?” I waved a hand to show I was talking about the occupants of the drawers that lined the mausoleum walls.
“Nah. Who doesn’t like a party?” He looked down. “Although I feel like I should be wearing something nicer than this old T-shirt.”
He was wearing a gray shirt with a faded red Aerosmith logo.
“I like it,” I protested. “In fact, I just realized that you change.” That came out wrong. “Er, I mean, you…”
“Change my clothes?” He looked at me, and I nodded. “At first it was just habit. I don’t need to. No sweat or anything. But it felt too weird to stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time. Even for a guy. And then I met you, and I was trying to act normal, so…” He shrugged.
“It wasn’t always easy to remember to wear something different each time we met. Luckily, I had my stash here.”
I put the cake I was still holding down on the marble slab next to me. “I still can’t believe you did all this, Caspian. Are you trying to sweep me off my feet?” His face turned serious. “I’d like to sweep you off your feet, but the best I can do is ask you to dance with me. Will you?”
He held out a hand, and I suddenly felt nervous. Licking dry lips, I put my hand up next to his and whispered, “Okay.” Assuming the position of a proper dancing partner, I held my arm up high, like I would be grasping his hand, and put my other arm around what would have been his waist.
He did the same, and I felt that dull tingle everywhere we would have been touching.
“In my head I’m hearing that Aerosmith song from Armageddon, and we’re dancing to it,” he said. Then he murmured softly, ‘I don’t want to close my eyes.… I don’t want to fall asleep.… Cuz I’ll miss you, babe…’”
Moving in small circles, we mimicked two slow-dancers at a prom. Caspian’s voice echoed around us, bouncing off the walls of the dead. “‘And I don’t wanna miss a thing.…’” We came to a halt, eyes locked. Desire, sadness, anger, and fear crashed through me.
Like waves pounding on the beach, a violent storm that left nothing behind in its wake. Nothing but black emptiness. And I knew right then and there that, one day, that void would be me.
I was the black nothing.
I tilted my face up, gazing at him, and made a secret wish. But it was a wish that would never come true.
Caspian couldn’t come back from the dead.
I got home late that afternoon, and my eyes were red and teary. A crying jag had overwhelmed me on the way out of the cemetery, and I’d broken down. I’d stopped several times because I couldn’t see where I was going.
Although Caspian and I had spent the rest of our time together talking and even laughing, I couldn’t shake the heaviness that felt like it was chained around my heart. A constant shackle that tightened and bruised with every breath I took. A warning that one day I was going to be shattered.
I didn’t know how much I could take. How much I could stand before I broke again…
A quick nap after lunch helped soothe my mood, and I woke up, determined again, to make it work. I loved Caspian, and that was all that mattered. If Nikolas and Katy could make it work, then so could we.
My phone rang, but I didn’t answer it in time, and the voice mail icon flashed, signaling that I had a message. I dialed it to listen.
“Abbey, this is Ben. Call me when you get this, okay?” He sounded upset.
I slapped myself on the forehead. Today was Tuesday. I’d totally bailed on our science session. Hitting the button to call him back, I prepared my excuse.
He picked up on the first ring. “Abbey?”
“Ben, hey. I just got your message, I’m—”
“I came over, but you didn’t answer the door. I called you like three times, and you never picked up.”
“I know,