The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers [19]
Mick put the picture back on the closet shelf. None of them were any good much. The people didn’t have fingers and some of the arms were longer than the legs. The class had been fun, though. But she had just drawn whatever came into her head without reason--and in her heart it didn’t give her near the same feeling that music did. Nothing was really as good as music.
Mick knelt down on the floor and quickly lifted the top of the big hatbox. Inside was a cracked ukulele strung with two violin strings, a guitar string and a banjo string. The crack on the back of the ukulele had been neatly mended with sticking plaster and the round hole in the middle was covered by a piece of wood. The bridge of a violin held up the strings at the end and some sound-holes had been carved on either side.
Mick was making herself a violin. She held the violin in her lap. She had the feeling she had never really looked at it before. Some time ago she made Bubber a little play mandolin out of a cigar box with rubber bands, and that put the idea into her head. Since that she had hunted all over everywhere for the different parts and added a little to the job every day. It seemed to her she had done everything except use her head.
‘Bill, this don’t look like any real violin I ever saw.’ He was still reading--‘Yeah--?’
‘It just don’t look right. It just don’t--’ She had planned to tune the fiddle that day by screwing the pegs. But since she had suddenly realized how all the work had turned out she didn’t want to look at it. Slowly she plucked one string after another. They all made the same little hollow-sounding ping.
‘How anyway will I ever get a bow? Are you sure they have to be made out of just horses’ hair?’
‘Yeah,’ said Bill impatiently.
‘Nothing like thin wire or human hair strung on a limber stick would do?’
Bill rubbed his feet against each other and didn’t answer.
Anger made beads of sweat come out on her forehead.
Her voice was hoarse. ‘It’s not even a bad violin. It’s only a cross between a mandolin and a ukulele. And I hate them. I hate them--’ Bill turned around.
‘It’s all turned out wrong. It won’t do. It’s no good. ‘Pipe down,’ said Bill. ‘Are you just carrying on about that old broken ukulele you’ve been fooling with? I could have told you at first it was crazy to think you could make any violin. That’s one thing you don’t sit down and make--you got to buy them. I thought anybody would know a thing like that. But I figured it wouldn’t hurt yon if you found out for yourself.’
Sometimes she hated Bill more than anyone else in the world.
He was different entirely from what he used to be. She started to slam the violin down on the floor and stomp on it, but instead she put it back roughly into the hatbox. The tears were hot in her eyes as fire. She gave the box a kick and ran from the room without looking at Bill.
As she was dodging through the hall to get to the back yard she ran into her Mama.
‘What’s the matter with you? What have you been into now?’
Mick tried to jerk loose, but her Mama held on to her arm.
Sullenly she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. Her Mama had been in the kitchen and she wore her apron and house-shoes. As usual she looked as though she had a lot on her mind and didn’t have time to ask her any more questions.
‘Mr. Jackson has brought his two sisters to dinner and there won’t be but just enough chairs, so today you’re to eat in the kitchen with Bubber.’
‘That's hunky-dory with me,’ Mick said.
Her Mama