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Immediately following the gelatai carnage, as I stood at the kitchen counter, bewildered, remorseful, emotionally spent, questioning the meaning of life and the purpose of man’s toil on earth, gazing aimlessly at the sordid glycerated remains, the empty tincture bottle laying on its side, the soiled beakers, I ate a spoonful of the still quivering blunder … and behold … I was instantly uplifted! It was fun, like eating jello always is (even for those cranky adults who won’t admit it). And it tasted…“all right!” which OGR tincture never does. Right, kids?

I discovered that jellofied herb effortlessly jiggles and diffuses ghastly flavors, distracting one’s taste buds from the roots of bitterness, and the glycerin follows up smoothly with a pleasantly sweet aftertaste. I liked it! I ate another scoop. The herbalized jello played in my mouth. I slurped another scoop, then another. My face smiled big; the universe, amused by my blunder-ability had given me an answer to my questions … herb jello (Botanica wiggleus; Gelatinaceae family)! What an idea! (Individuals requiring a more sophisticated air of credibility in their future discussions concerning this important new clinical vehicle can use the currently more fashionable European-flavored term “phytojel.”) Such a joyous footnote this will be scribed in the herb section of the Akashic records and in the future archives of twenty-first century American phyto-folklore. Herbal pharmacy of the new millennium will have a wiggle.

Not long thereafter, creativity ablaze, I boarded my bike and sped to the local grocery store, where I bought myself a couple packs of lime-flavored Jell-O® (what can I say, lime is green). I flirted with the idea of getting the sugar-free type Jell-O, but its label said “aspertame” on the ingredients list, so I reconsidered and bought the ones that said “sugar” instead. In my belief system, aspertame makes white sugar the good guy. And, with all that good herb that’s going to be taken, a little sugar isn’t going to hurt anyone.

Upon returning home, I opened my box of lime Jell-O, immediately poured a little bit of the green powder into my palm, and proceeded to lick it, mm-mm! You’ve gotta do that; every kid does. Then I poured the rest of the powder onto a scale and weighed it. I wanted only to use 1/4 of the Jell-O to experiment with. I weighed out 22 Gm (the 3 oz box said 85 Gm, but I got 86 Gm + my approximately 2 Gm compulsive lick).

Possibly, we’ve turned a significant corner here in herbal kinderland. Try out the idea of using herb jellos; have fun with it, and let me know what recipes and results you come up with. I can be reached at: JG, P.O. Box 39, Forestville, CA 95436.

Kindernote: Leave an herb jello uncovered in the refrigerator for a couple weeks and you’ve got yourself a phyto gummy bear to chew.

HERB JELLO

1/4 box lime Jell-O (I did cherry Jell-O next) = approximately 22 Gm

I/4 cup boiling water (60 ml)

I oz. tincture (I used Feverfew for my first intentional herb jello) (30 ml or 1/8 cup)

I oz. cold water (30 ml or I /8 cup)

1. Put the jello powder into a small rectangular shaped baking tin. (I used a small loaf tin that measured 2 1/2 inches by 4 1/2 inches. Using this squared-off shape makes it easy to divide the herb jello into equal-sized pieces in order to give relatively equal-sized doses.)

2. Pour the boiling water onto the jello powder and stir well for 2 to 3 minutes, making sure that the gelatin is completely dissolved.

3. Add the tincture and stir this well.

4. Then add the cold water and stir well.

5. Pour this mixture into the pan and/or into any other molds you wish to use. I bought some candy molds of various forms (shells, cars, cigars, Christmas trees, etc.) that make kid-approved shapes for eating. (The research that remains for us is to discover the jello flavors that work best with each uniquely flavored herb or herbal blend. This is why I use only 1/4 of the pack, or less, at a time.)

6. Once the herb jello