The Hidden - Jessica Verday [77]
He stood up and moved close. “Be careful about Ben, too.” His tone was half joking, but the serious half was still there. “I know I was the one who pushed you into this, but you’re still my girl.”
I stood there for a while, just looking up at him, trying to convey what I was feeling without words. Eventually he cleared his throat and took a step away. “I don’t want to interrupt you. You should probably be getting ready.”
“Okay,” I said, mourning the loss of his closeness.
“Do you mind if I stay up here?” he asked softly, not meeting my eyes. “I don’t think I can see you. All … dressed up and stuff. For him.”
“No, no, that’s fine. I don’t want it to be awkward. In fact, I’m going to get dressed downstairs. More … room down there. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
He nodded. “Of course. I like Ben. He’s a nice guy.”
I went over to the closet and put the white Victorian dress behind the red dress in its garment bag. I wanted to surprise Caspian with it, and this way I could put it on downstairs when I got home. A tight ball of nerves sprung up in my stomach. Tonight, at midnight, will officially be November first. Caspian’s death day.
I was ready, and yet so not ready. What if he didn’t like the white dress? What if he thought it was too old fashioned, or hated the way it looked on me? What if …
No more what-ifs. One thing at a time. Hollow Ball now. Caspian tonight. Just get through the Hollow Ball with Ben first.
Hanging the dress over my arm, I nudged the closet door open and grabbed some black strappy shoes. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back, then?” I said to Caspian as I made my way out.
He nodded.
“Mom and Dad are leaving for the weekend tonight. They’ll be gone until Monday afternoon, so …” My throat felt tight, and I didn’t want to start crying and ruin all of Lucinda’s hard work. “I wish I was going with you,” I said softly. “I’ll miss you.”
Caspian nodded again, and with a final glance behind me, I walked out the door. Leaving my dead boyfriend behind so that I could go to the dance with someone else. All because he wanted me to.
Mom was beside herself with excitement when I went downstairs to get dressed, and kept checking on me every five seconds. After the fourth interruption I told her, “Just stop. Chill. If I need anything, I’ll call for you.”
But she had the camera ready when I finally came out of the bathroom, and immediately started snapping pictures.
“Mom, I’m not even completely dressed yet,” I said. “I need to put my shoes on.”
“I know, but—snap— this is such an exciting moment and I—snap—want to make sure I have pictures of everything.” Snap.
Ignoring her, I went to the couch and sat down to put my shoes on. But my dress was too tight to bend in, and I kept contorting myself at awkward angles. “Hey, Mom, I think I need some help now.”
She came right over. “I’m here. I’ll take care of it.”
I slid my foot into the shoe, using the edge of the couch for balance, and Mom buckled it. Then she did the other one.
Dad came into the living room as soon as she was done, and whistled. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Mom grabbed him and pulled him beside me to take some pictures as I glanced at the clock.
I still had fifteen more minutes of this until Ben would be here.
“All right, Mom,” I said through gritted teeth. “Let’s take some pictures.”
She posed me and Dad by the fireplace, by the window, in front of the fridge. Then she wanted some pictures of herself with me. We stood in front of the bathroom mirror, by a vase of flowers, in front of the steps …
I was never so happy to hear a car beep outside. Ben was early. By a whole minute.
“Oooh, good. He’s here! Now I can get some pictures of the two of you!” Mom squealed.
I glanced at Dad. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “We’re leaving by seven fifty, so there won’t be too much more of this.”
“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” I said. “It’s already been too much of this.”
Mom ran to open the door when Ben knocked on it, and he stood there with